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Dd 13 hates her body(4 Posts)
What’s the best way to help her. She is tall about 5ft 7” and a size 10. I’ve talked in terms of being healthy and fit rather than weight and we are going to do some exercising together as she does none at the moment. I have massive body image issues so i find it so sad that she is feeling the same and also very difficult to know the best way to approach it. I’ve also been discussing the whole social media/photoshop issue.
Does anyone have any advice with how to improve her body confidence.
Doing exercise together is great, but maybe you could also prepare healthy meals together? I struggled with body image when I was a teen and my DD does too. What I’ve found helps (for me and her!) is reading books and articles that promote body confidence. Let her know that she is beautiful in her own way. You could maybe ask her what she likes about herself, whether it be her physical appearance or personality. Let her know that she’s not alone and make sure she knows that you’re always there to talk to if her self-esteem gets low. My DD keeps a little box filled with notes from her friends, photographs and inspirational quotes/articles that she looks through when her self-esteem is low. Maybe your daughter could try something similar?
Do you have pictures of yourself up around the house - family ones, not massive canvas prints of yourself? Do you avoid having your photo taken? How do you talk about your own body eg do you make positive statements like saying that you like the way you look in a particular dress? When you look for clothes do you focus on ‘hiding’ areas like your arms with long sleeves or your tummy with loose tops?
I think the best way to boost your DD’s body image is to be more positive about your own. I know I picked up my mother’s negative self-image and I’ve never managed to shed it. Modelling a positive attitude, even if you don’t feel it, is incredibly powerful.
I think unless there's an actual issue with her weight, I'd avoid all exercise/healthy eating chat. It's just going to reinforce her belief that there's something wrong with her.
Instead, focus on the things that are good about her body. Its strong, it's healthy, it's powerful, it's capable of amazing things.
The whole "you're beautiful and your body is fine" thing isn't going to help, because she simply won't believe you. Instead, take all of the aesthetics out of it. Talk about what you love about your body, about what you're proud of, and encourage her to think of things about hers that she's proud of. Strong arms, fast legs, clever hands, anything. Take how it looks out of the equation and focus on what it can do.