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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

14yr daughter pregnant by 14yr boy

101 replies

Parie12 · 22/07/2020 22:43

Dd is pregnant by boy deals weed with some gang involvement. His mum is encouraging it in her house. She thinks she is above the law. I reported my dd missing her numerous times to police she is found in the home. Now she is pregnant her family feeding my daughter lies. I knew this was not a healthy relationship. What is a 3oyr woman doing with a 14yr now her son. Disgusting what is family is doing. Nothing I can do?

OP posts:

Report

Yankathebear · 22/07/2020 22:44

I don’t understand

mrsfury · 22/07/2020 22:51

????

AwkwardPaws27 · 22/07/2020 22:51

You can talk to your daughter about her options, discuss what life would look like if she chooses to continue the pregnancy, and support her to make the best decision for her.

There are a number of documentaries and real stories of teenagers on YouTube etc that she might relate to - "Underage and Pregnant", for example - so she can see it's not just cute babies and that it's a big change that many teenage relationships don't survive.

If you have any proof of the dealing etc you could report the boyfriend, but you run the risk of driving a wedge between you and your daughter when she needs you most, so I'd focus on her.

Bitchinkitchen · 22/07/2020 22:52

Report the boyfriend to the police, take your daughter to the GP, strongly counsel termination and get her on reliable birth control ASAP after.

mummymayhem18 · 22/07/2020 22:53

What lies have been told? It's a bit confusing what you've put . Have you met this boy? What's he like? She was obviously a young mum if she's now 30 and has a 14 year old boy.

Parie12 · 22/07/2020 22:58

Sorry I am in shock and English is not my first language

OP posts:

mummymayhem18 · 22/07/2020 23:05

I can imagine you are shocked. I have the same worries about my daughter who is also only 14. It's easy to worry about them when they're young. Especially at this age as they are now at the stage of wanting boyfriends etc and they think and act like there going on age 18.

Parie12 · 22/07/2020 23:06

My daughter was friends with this woman, and yes she was a teen mum. She tells my daughter police or SS will not do anything.
She makes this kind of behaviour very common. My daughter smokes weed occasionally she calms. She mimimise every thing of concern and I am just tired of this woman.

OP posts:

WTF12345 · 22/07/2020 23:23

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WTF12345 · 22/07/2020 23:24

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Mothership4two · 22/07/2020 23:40

@WTF12345

What?

Parie12 · 22/07/2020 23:44

I will look into reporting it to the police but
I have done so many times both to police/SS and nothing happens. I reported dd missing over 20 times from November 2019. Sometimes I feel am wasting police time. Today the police visited the home and did not remove her from the home. This woman allows my daughter to stay in her home therefore the police don't care. .

OP posts:

AwkwardMoment2020 · 22/07/2020 23:47

@Mothership4two

That poster is posting nonsense like that on multiple threads atm. Obviously a weirdo.

AwkwardMoment2020 · 22/07/2020 23:48

@Parie12 You need to contact your designated safeguarding lead at your local council or your daughter’s school. Forget about the police for now. I think your daughter needs more official help and safeguarding from social services.

Parie12 · 22/07/2020 23:50

Thank you for those of you leaving advise and genuine comments.

OP posts:

Onceuponatimethen · 22/07/2020 23:51

I’m so sorry op. I think definitely get guidance. You could start with her head of year at school and also try then nspcc

Parie12 · 22/07/2020 23:53

Yes I have informed social services

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Onceuponatimethen · 22/07/2020 23:59

I think that’s very sensible. Are there any family members your daughter listens to? Aunts or grandparents?

Parie12 · 22/07/2020 23:59

@onceuponatimethen @Awkwardmoment2020 thank you!!
I will make contact tomorrow. This cannot continue to happen.

OP posts:

Parie12 · 23/07/2020 00:03

@Onceuponatimethen not many family here. She is very difficult and listen to no one

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Onceuponatimethen · 23/07/2020 00:05

I wish i had answers but really sympathise- that must be so hard

maryclare · 23/07/2020 00:09

Hi Parie. Sorry you're having such a horrible time. Yes, definitely talk to the Safeguarding Officer, but also see if your daughter has any pastoral support staff at her school. They can liase to get her some school counselling support so both you and she can get some advice from people who are qualified and used to these situations. Good luck.

Parie12 · 23/07/2020 00:11

Its so difficult and I had to pretend Iam ok at work. When I got home my daughter was not home. I called the police to report her missing. She got upset and said she is not coming home. So she is spending the night in this trap house

OP posts:

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