Dd convinced she is fat and obsessed with exercise and eating healthily.

[PaperScissorsRock]

She’s nearly 18, healthy weight, very active (runs and works out every day).

She is slim but is convinced she is fat. She will claw at her stomach skin saying it’s a fat roll.

She mainly eats very healthily, but obsesses over everything she eats. If she slips up and eats something “bad” she will feel very low after and beats herself up over it and will go on and on about how fat she is.

If she misses a workout or a run she will again obsess over how unfit she is.

She has been seen by camhs twice now for depression, anxiety, ocd traits, and been discharged both times because they say she’s fine, plus she doesn’t engage well (first time round she bonded with one of the workers, they then said it wasn’t ok to rely on one worker and discharged her).

She has good days and bad days.
Lockdown has been fairly good for her and she is less depressed/anxious, but has flared up with this in the last week or so.

I’m so tired of the constant issues. I want to help her, and on good days we can have good chats. Today is a bad day, I’ve been told to fuck off because I won’t agree with her that she’s fat.

I’m so tired.

[blimppy]

Hi. You could almost be describing my DD, who is 18. She is very controlled with her eating. She did restrict last year, but seems now to be eating healthily but in a very controlled way and still very conscious about what she eats, to an unhealthy degree. She also runs, and can get very upset if she has not run for a few days and I am really worried that she is addicted to exercise. She is due to go to university in the Autumn and I worry about things spiralling out of control. When she is stressed about doing her running or having eaten too much "bad" food, she gets very snappy indeed. I'm sorry I don't have anything helpful to say, other than to share your pain. It is very hard to see them like this. I am fortunate to be able to afford a private counsellor for her. This is focussed on her poor self esteem and I am hoping that addressing this will help her with the food and exercise, but who knows. Unfortunately I have another daughter who has had CAMHS involvement and been referred to the eating disorders service locally. Apart from the obvious implication that i'm a pretty poor mum, our experience shows that both these services are really poor.

[PaperScissorsRock]

Thank you, they really do sound similar!

Dd currently has a bad hip and can’t run - she’s a nightmare!

[PaperScissorsRock]

You’re not a poor mum!

[happydazeandsunshines]

Agreed you definitely are a good mum - plus eating disorders are largely genetic. Therapy is a total waste of time sorry to say relative to the brain becoming well nourished by fats and oils - 6 months consistent weight restoration will achieve far more than any therapy as the brain is only as good as the nourishment it gets. I can't recommend FEAST around the dinner table enough as a resource to best understand this alongside Eva Musby's book on Amazon.