This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Single mum with teenage boy(9 Posts)
I genuinely thought I'd bought up a kind normal caring son, and despite being a teen parent I'd managed to create a lovely young man. However, a few things he's said recently have concerned me. He's started to talk a lot about how men are victimised and how women can lie about being raped or assaulted. Or that women get pregnant on purpose to financially gain from a man. Whilst I'm aware that these things do occur in life I'm worried where this focus has come from and that it's not a healthy thing to focus on. I've tried to speak with him, and explain that yes these circumstances do occur but they're also not very common and also that all circumstances are different. But he seems to almost have a defiant anger about this. I'm worried about these very strong beliefs and would really appreciate any advice.
If you try to “prove “ his wrong, he’ll just double down on his opinions, and in any event it’s a free country he’s entitled to his own beliefs.
mmmm... my son got radicalised by alt right so I'm not so relaxed.
What SM influences is he being exposed to, OP?
Thanks for your comments. He has male role models in my family and my boyfriend, who doesn't live with us but is around a lot. None of them share these views around women. He has mentioned a movement called Men Go Their Own Way, which seems to be based on the idea that men don't need relationships with women. That idea in itself seems pretty innocuous, but looking a little deeper it seems to be an anti feminist movement with some quite poisonous ideas towards women. I don't know if I'm over worrying about a normal phase for a teenager, or if I'm right to be concerned. I'd be grateful for any advice.
I think you need to accept he thinks differently to you. You can’t change him or his opinions. I really think challenging him would be a mistake.
I think you're right to be concerned.
I don't know what the solution is -sorry, I failed My DS goes on about antifa being evil and BLM being ridiculous. I think he's had a steady social media diet of videos that promote some terrible ideas. I hope you avoid a similarly awful mindset developing.
I’m a bit disturbed by this thread, in a free country people are entitled to their opinion. You can’t expect your child to share your beliefs.
I’m surprised a parent would object to their child criticising anti fa and BLM both of which are Marxist organisations
I would want to talk to him, in any circumstances, about his opinions, as part of my relationship with him as a boy in the process of forming his character as an adult. Question his opinions, ask him why he has them, give your own views and why you have them. Not as a challenge to him, but because you're curious and want to know him better and want him to know you better. Allow him to hold different views but make sure he is aware that you think differently
antifa & BLM aren not organisations... Those are both ideologies (arguably) but not organisations.