My DS is almost 15 - Y10. We have always been pretty close. He is my youngest. He is no trouble 99% of the time.
He is normal teenage lazy but will do chores and clean up when he is asked. He doesn't back chat or get stroppy. He isn't rude or disrespectful. My DD (22) is just finishing uni and is living with us - they get a long great. School feedback is generally that he is a nice boy, has great friends, behaves well. However, he has always struggled academically. He may be mildly dyslexic but no assessment has ever showed any cause for concern. He understands most subjects but really really struggles with written work.
My personal feeling is he has a major lack of confidence which manifests as a complete lack of motivation or will.
School are brilliant at managing this usually but now he is working at home it is apparent that he needs a lot of support. It has been a constant struggle to get him to engage with school work and I will admit that I have given up a bit, I suppose naively thinking it was better to keep the peace. He now has a huge backlog of work to get through and most of what he has done in the last few days has been minimal effort. He is resistant to me helping him, he does anything he can to avoid talking about it and he just shuts down if I try.
I've had emails from 2 of his teachers and now a call from his head of year and I just don't know what to do. I am concerned that this is such a pivotal year for him. I worry that he will not get good enough grades to do anything in year 12. He has no clue about anything he might be interested in in the future. I'm not too worried about that but I do worry that he won't have many options if he doesn't knuckle down.
We have always been pretty relaxed about things like screen time with the caveat that while he is doing ok at school, we will remain so. We have now put limits on screen time - he can't access anything until after 2pm except for using his phone during breaks. He is now moping around in the kitchen, huffing about the work he has to do and not engaging. I can access his work so I can see what he is doing. He's ticking the boxes but with the bare minimum of effort.
I'm really worried but also at a loss.
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Teenagers
Don't know how to talk to DS anymore
6 replies
HUCKMUCK · 11/05/2020 11:43
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