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Struggling to self isolate a 14 year old

(45 Posts)
GHobby Wed 25-Mar-20 09:47:10

Hi,
Is anyone else struggling to keep their teenager in? My 14 year old son who smokes weed (which is worrying because he will need it) is struggling. He stayed in more than normal yesterday but did honour although we used that as his walk.
He's not a bad boy but I just need to get him to see the seriousness

OP’s posts: |
Serenschintte Wed 25-Mar-20 09:50:38

Yes it’s hard. Last week my son saw his friends had a meet up in real life and posted it on social media. He was so upset.
There will be a lot of emotions. So steel yourself for that.
I have tried to construct a family timetable - flexible and encourage my teen to do things he likes like gaming. He has also used video calling to keep in contact with his friends.
Are you in contact with the parents of his friends? Could you make a WhatsApp group to keep an eye on them?

Mammyloveswine Wed 25-Mar-20 10:03:06

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GHobby Wed 25-Mar-20 10:26:34

Thanks for your support Mammyloveswine! You've given me a really good reason to not bother with this site.
You have absolutely no idea what goes on in my family to be able to judge me and tell me to parent. How dare you.
You should feel ashamed - and I hope your life is utterly perfect and trouble free.

OP’s posts: |
coffeeandcreamer Wed 25-Mar-20 10:28:50

confused

Ginfordinner Wed 25-Mar-20 10:29:39

Perhaps you could explain why your 14 year old "needs" weed instead of being so defensive? Where is he getting the money from to buy it? And surely he will come into contact with his dealer every time he buys it, so flaunting the social distance rules.

Mammyloveswine Wed 25-Mar-20 10:48:55

I absolutely do not feel ashamed! I stand by what I said!

I am a key worker and still going into school to support and look after vulnerable children. Many who have parents who prioritise smoking weed over buying food.

So I absolutely will judge! Your 14 year old should NEVER have started smoking weed in the first place!

Perhaps the lockdown will do him some good!

Bringringbring12 Wed 25-Mar-20 10:49:07

To be fair OP
You can’t just throw in fact your 14 year old son appears to be addicted to weed without posters being... at the very least shocked by your apparent blase reference to it

playthestation Wed 25-Mar-20 10:53:31

14 year olds don't 'need' weed wtf.

Pollyputthepizzaon Wed 25-Mar-20 10:56:23

I think the lockdown will do your child the world of good. You should have imposed one the second you found out he was smoking weed

Hoppinggreen Wed 25-Mar-20 10:59:22

I don’t actually need to know anything about your family circumstances to know that your 14 year old should NOT need to smoke weed.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Wed 25-Mar-20 11:00:47

My dd is 14.

If l found out she was smoking weed, l’d go ballistic. She’d be in lockdown for ever. This is a safeguarding issue imo

Mammyloveswine Wed 25-Mar-20 11:01:28

I agree @TheEmoji

12345ct Wed 25-Mar-20 11:01:53

Your parenting is shameful and you should be ashamed of yourself. OP

Ginger1982 Wed 25-Mar-20 11:02:47

"My 14 year old son who smokes weed (which is worrying because he will need it) is struggling"

Surely you should be more worried about the fact he smokes it at all 🤷🏼‍♀️

PineappleDanish Wed 25-Mar-20 11:03:45

This can't be true. A 14 year old who "needs weed" but "isn't a bad boy".

Are you Sharon Watts?

Butterymuffin Wed 25-Mar-20 11:05:05

Not really sure why the person telling you a 14 yo shouldn't be smoking weed is the one who ought to feel ashamed.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Wed 25-Mar-20 11:05:39

He doesn't need weed 😂

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Wed 25-Mar-20 11:07:06

Would you like to explain why he "needs" weed?

Devlesko Wed 25-Mar-20 11:09:27

I'm afraid it's the survival of the fittest and natural selection.
If he doesn't stay in he'll get sick and maybe die.

I think too many people are shielding their kids from the reality so they don't scare them. Whilst this is considerate, it's not helping.
Tell them the truth, show them the pictures, get them to watch the news with you.
Show them the little 5 year old. sad

ilovesooty Wed 25-Mar-20 11:10:57

Is he receiving any support from young people's drug services to address his addiction? Have you accessed support for parents of addicts?

Some of this is available online so perhaps the self isolation period would be a good time to look at these interventions.

blackcat86 Wed 25-Mar-20 11:14:47

No family circumstances make it ok that your 14yr old smokes weed, 'needs' weed, or thinks the rules dont apply to them. Perhaps spending some time at home with your child may give you some time to reflect, parent and guide them. It's for you to talk in a way your child will listen to. Perhaps your tolerance and permissive stance regarding drugs (you seem to have just accepted that he needs weed rather than thinking 'good maybe that'll stop him') is contributing and it could be a good time to lay down the law.

chocolatesaltyballs22 Wed 25-Mar-20 11:16:30

Second what @mammyloveswine said. Fucking hell. I don't know why you expected sympathy with that opening gambit. Parent your child.

20viona Wed 25-Mar-20 11:18:36

Why the fuck are you allowing a 14 year old to smoke weed WHAT THE HELL.

Rebellenny Wed 25-Mar-20 11:20:13

It’s easy to judge, I’m the least strict parent ever and my kids are really well behaved but I often think I’ve just been lucky. If they were really rebellious I know I would probably not be able to stand up to them and be labelled a useless parent so no judgement from me! Don’t have any advice but just to let you know not everyone is judgemental and nobody knows what goes on in others lives x

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