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What do your teens do After school?

(24 Posts)
mymadworld Wed 04-Mar-20 13:01:34

My kids have activities they do 3 nights a week but that doesn't fill a whole evening and some nights it's just straight home, homework, tea and nothing else and they are becoming increasingly dependent upon screens and I don't think it's healthy to zone out so often for so long.
I don't mind some tv/gaming/phone and know they need to relax and wind down after school but I'm really concerned that they have got into a pattern of literally doing nothing else at home except eat, sleep, homework and stare at a screen and want to try and get them interested and engaged in a few other things but not sure what to suggest!
We do board games at the weekend but no interest in the week and they're past having toys/Lego that used to interest them. They'll go to the park or on bikes in the summer but it's too dark/wet right now.

So apart from organised activities and Staring at a screen, what do your teenagers do all evening?

OP’s posts: |
cptartapp Wed 04-Mar-20 13:18:04

DS1 is 17. Has a part time job after college and driving lessons. Sometimes the gym. Also trains and plays football twice a week. Otherwise it's Xbox with friends, TV or phone.
DS2 is almost 15. Trains or plays football once or twice a week, cricket once a week. Has just finished scouts. But yep, homework and lots of screen time. DS1 did really well in his GCSE's following this pattern at this age so can't get too worked up about it really.

Oblomov20 Wed 04-Mar-20 13:25:42

Sounds fine. I don't see what the problem is. Both of mine do football, boxing, have a job. Parties, meeting mates and playing football, going to Nando's to eat the hottest Piri-piri wings they can stomach. Loads of parties. Tonnes of x box. Lots of watching you tube. Films.

Both are happy, thriving, happy friendships, doing well at school.
What's the problem?

okiedokieme Wed 04-Mar-20 13:34:31

Gym, has her boyfriend over/goes to his, they will play cards and games on occasion and she always walks the dog late at night Now at university so only holidays to get in my way.

mymadworld Wed 04-Mar-20 13:55:46

@Oblomov20 what you describe (meeting mates, parties, job etc) sounds like weekend our activities which I don't have a problem with it's the long evenings after school. they literally seem incapable of being indoors without staring at a screen and I think it's a waste of their life, unhealthy to disengage from
Real world for so long; boring and makes them incredibly lazy and self-centred as the more they watch the less bothered they seem to become about other things like helping with meal prep, chatting to us, reading, kicking a ball about etc

Eldest had a gym membership after much pestering from him but I'm about to cancel it as he was only going once a week sometimes not at all and it was a waste of money; sadly no dog to walk and public transport also limited so going out in the week is tricky unless we take them.

I can turn everything off and don't have a problem doing it but am met with the inevitable - so now what do we do?

OP’s posts: |
chocolatesaltyballs22 Wed 04-Mar-20 14:29:03

Gym, homework, part time job, sometimes out with friends.

To be honest I think that screens are teens version of chilling out where the older generation sits down in front of the telly. I personally don't see anything wrong with it and I don't restrict screen time. No one tells me how long I can watch TV for!

Aramox Wed 04-Mar-20 14:30:54

Phone til bedtime with 10 min break for dinner. I agree, it’s crap!

BeyondMyWits Wed 04-Mar-20 14:37:35

DD17 doing A-levels. She is mainly revising.

She does have driving lessons too, we have a film night on a Friday, a board game night on a Wednesday and generally sit and talk for an hour or so over dinner. She walks the dog, plays on the playstation, "talks" with her friends and watches a bit of telly. Don't know how she fits it all in to be honest.

LlamaofDrama Wed 04-Mar-20 14:53:07

DD is 10, so younger, and it's similar and worries me. She has activities several days a week after school, and busy weekends, but I'd like her to have chill out resources that weren't either screen time or listening to audio books. She reads, but apparently that's only good in bed in the morning. Only child so no one else to wind up (although I can be an option). I don't have a solution!

JustDanceAddict Wed 04-Mar-20 18:11:02

Mainly revising and schoolwork I hope!
They are gcse and A level year.
The older one has a v part time job so that a couple of hour one evening a week.
The younger does some volunteering one evening and has music lesson another. It’s enough.
They’re not back until 4.30ish so not mega early and they are up at 6.45 so tired!

Busymum45 Wed 04-Mar-20 18:34:41

My 15 yr old just lies about on her phone! Although atm she is revising a lot for Gcses x

namechangenumber2 Fri 06-Mar-20 10:43:34

16 year old DS generally just relaxes - splitting his time between homework/revision and playing on the PS4/phone

He goes to rugby training one evening a week and once at the weekend. He'd like a little job too but is holding out until the summer once GCSE's are over

horseymum Fri 06-Mar-20 10:51:06

Homework, revision, music practice, you tube, you tube, practising card tricks/ Rubik's cube, press ups app, you tube, some chores, sports activities, some reading when in bed. Still quite chatty which is nice.

ScrapThatThen Fri 06-Mar-20 10:53:14

Gym, veg on bed, do homework, watch Netflix on phone, check social media on phone, do Duolingo on phone, watch TV with me, cook, eat, play Mario cart on phone. They're fine. When they get bored they start doing other things. Usually organising their rooms or intellectual things.

Travelban Fri 06-Mar-20 14:25:17

Mine have different hobbies but they do go to homework club three days a week after school so see not home until 6pm those days. The other two days they do a sport, then there is music practice, family dinners are often half an hour as we do chat and they are expected to help (lay the table, put dishes in the dishwasher, serve drinks) and so screen time in the week is very short.

Catapillarsruletheworld Sat 07-Mar-20 16:09:49

Dd1 15 dances every night, between that, revision and sometimes having her boyfriend over her evenings are pretty full.

She also has a fair amount of screen time, but I don’t mind as she’s generally pretty busy with other stuff.

Dd2 12 has activities 3 nights a week, but they’re Maia my earlier as she’s younger. She spends most of her free time either hanging out with her best friend or making tiktok videos. Not ideal, but at least it’s kind of creative.

Catapillarsruletheworld Sat 07-Mar-20 16:10:43

Should be they’re earlier!

eldeeno Sat 07-Mar-20 16:55:28

DD1 (16) has hobbies two evenings a week (once for an hour and the other for two hours). She works two evenings a week (3 hours each time) and then the rest of her time is spent revising, chatting to friends on social media (we live rurally so no possibility of actually meeting up) and watching crappy tv shows on Netflix.

DD2 (13) has hobbies 3 nights a week (3 hours at a time), volunteers one night a week and again spends time chatting to friends on social media, homework and watching tv. She also likes art, so spends lots of time painting and stuff.

Rocsand03 Sat 07-Mar-20 18:23:14

Mine doesn’t do anything other than talk to pals on phone or iPad or YouTube. I’ve had him in all sorts of clubs but he gave them all up. I really want to get him interested in stuff but keep getting told by husband we can’t make him. He won’t even revise

PandaG Sat 07-Mar-20 18:27:44

Mine tutors for an hour two nights a week, goes to dance lesson for 2.5 hours one night, goes to a church group with her mates one night, often babysits, as well as homework, revision and seeing friends, and plenty of screen time.

BackforGood Sat 07-Mar-20 21:18:08

Another who isn't really sure why you are concerned.
If all they did was gaming, then I'd be concerned, but you say they are out doing activities 3 nights a week.
Add in homework / study, school, travel, a few jobs around the house, and I then don't think it is unreasonable to have some down time too.

Also, does depend on their age. A 13 yr old is very different from a 17 yr old.

Don't forget that they are socialising whilst on screens - they are chatting to mates, etc at that point.

ItWasntMyFault Sat 07-Mar-20 21:27:13

My 16 yr old goes to the gym every day after school, comes home, does homework, has dinner and then chills out in his room watching tv and texting mates. He occasionally plays on the Xbox but not very often.
At weekends he has a part time job, goes to the gym again and sometimes stays over with mates.

fiddledefiddle Sat 07-Mar-20 21:37:22

Sport four nights a week, then sports coaching job another night. Other than that homework and the PlayStation

WeAllHaveWings Sun 08-Mar-20 09:38:21

Gym, study, ps4

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