Violent teen boy

[ChangedMyNameForAdvice]

I need advice. My 15 yo boy is lovely 90% of the time. But once in a while he goes off on one big time- swearing, punching doors so they break, screaming, being very intimidating tbh. We left an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive man a few years ago and clearly there’s fall out. I wondered if anyone could advise on how to deal with immediate situation (it’s happening now though he’s gone quiet for now)? I am going to call Cahms for emergency advice in morning but previous experience suggests he won’t participate. Desperate for advice please.

[ChangedMyNameForAdvice]

Should also mention he’s diagnosed adhd and when happy can talk almost manically, getting fixated on one subject and talking obsessively. At one stage he was communist, then he went into awful right wing phase. I dealt with that by talking calmly and setting good example and this appears to have waned. He’s now compassionate and more along the lines of my own beliefs in that sense thank goodness.

[ILiveInSalemsLot]

Good you’re going to try to get some help but in the meantime, does he do any exercise? Have a look at exercise to help manage his symptoms and give him an outlet.

[ChangedMyNameForAdvice]

Thanks for your reply. He exercises every day, gym, Boxing, karate etc

[ChangedMyNameForAdvice]

He’s just broken down his bedroom door completely into pieces

[ChangedMyNameForAdvice]

Phoned my ex and asked him to come. He just said no.

[Breastfeedingworries]

Please don’t call and ask for the man who abused you both to come.

Hope you get some more useful advice

[ChangedMyNameForAdvice]

I was hoping for useful advice

[SomeoneElseEntirelyNow]

What triggers these episodes, and what are the consequences he gets afterwards?

[Fleetheart]

My DS has adhd, he can be like this too. I suggest you get help from CAMHs , is he medicated? My DS is not. Usually I leave the room/ house if he is being like this. Unfortunately I don’t have the answer, it is to do with the level of stress inside him. Has he had any talking therapies? I have also has help from targeted youth support.

[ChangedMyNameForAdvice]

Hi @Fleetheart he was with CAMHs for a while but I often couldn’t get him into appointments so we were dropped from their books. He’s had some therapy but not clicked. Leaving him alone definitely cools things usually but my other child was frightened and on this occasion he was too far gone to leave. His dad was a shit but is more helpful in recent months and can be a calming influence. He won’t take his meds- he’s much more rational when he does but thinks they’re wrong and unnatural etc.

[Fleetheart]

@ChangedMyNameForAdvice; my DS also says the same about meds. He has calmed down quite a lot at the moment as he has changed schools (going to an educational support Centre), snd is getting more 1-2-1. So I guess his crazy and violent behaviour stems a lot from frustration. I have also got targeted youth support involved as I was having literally no control over him and he was being violent, going out when he wanted, taking drugs etc etc. They have been some help. No silver bullet though; very difficult at this age particularly as a single mother. It has just clickedthat they are stronger than you and you can’t actually stop them. I have been advised by adhd advisers, youth support and the police call the police if they are attacking the house. Damaging property. They realise then that they can’t do this with no consequences. I haven’t done it yet, but now I feel that I can do if necessary.