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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Recently gone 13 DS using MDMA.

18 replies

Jesz · 18/02/2020 17:46

So I have found out that my recently turned 13 year old has used Mandy the day after his birthday with his mates older brother and his friends, I know as one of them got him on Instagram with a video of him doing a key, I've took all the money he has got from his birthday (ten pound was lost from it, not sure if he used it.), but I have no idea how to go about it now, anyone able to help? It might seem I'm calm and collected but really I'm ready to throw him out a top story window for doing this shit.

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Jesz · 19/02/2020 12:15

Bumping as I'm still stuck in this situation.

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NekoShiro · 19/02/2020 12:43

Have you talked to him about why he did it? Gone through the dangers of doing stuff like that spesh chemical stuff, one bad batch could kill him, you never know where it's come from or what it's been cut with, I guess the best you can do is educate him on it and try to figure out why he wants to do it, you could punish him for it but it won't stop him doing it if he wants to, sorry if thats not super helpful

Isadora2007 · 19/02/2020 12:46

I understand you’re angry but that phrase you just used about throwing him out a top window is fucking disgusting and not something I could EVER imagine thinking about my child. He is 13 FFS and nearly screwed up enough to be taking drugs and wanting to escape from something - what could that be? WHY? Did he take drugs? What did he think would happen? How is he doing in daily life- friends, school etc?

Stop being angry and be a mum.

sauvignonblancplz · 19/02/2020 12:48

Anger is an emotion and you’re entitled to express it - I would ask questions, look at appropriate boundaries and how he is influenced.
He’s 13, what are his boundaries at the moment?

Dontknowwhyidoit · 19/02/2020 13:07

You are understandably upset and worried about the possible risk to his health that he put himself in but I feel you need to take a deep breath and talk calmly to him. There are many reasons why he has taken mdma, it could be a one off experimentation or it could be a peer pressure situation where his friends are all doing it. As the other poster has said, all you can really do is educate him on the dangers and tell him that you are there to talk to about anything. I have been through this with my eldest two sons and my experience is that you can't stop them doing stuff but you can keep an open dialogue about all the issues that drugs can create, not just physical health but also mental health, addiction, debt etc. The more info they have the more chance that they will think it's not worth it.

Jesz · 19/02/2020 16:52

The thing that has annoyed me is he has no reason to do it, he isn't a goody two shoes at school, but not as bad as some kids are, I will speak to him about him about all the risk of what he's doing. Am I right in restricting his money?

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sijjy · 19/02/2020 16:59

Ring or google frank. They have good advice for things like this and can advise better than anyone. They also won't judge.

latheritup · 19/02/2020 17:07

How do you know it was Mandy? Just curious as ketamine is usually taken on a key.

I'd be inclined to sit him down and ask him why he did it, where he got it from and how did he feel after taking it? It's not the time to be shouting, he needs support and guidance around this.

Jesz · 19/02/2020 17:28

Lather, I was checking his phone (I don't normally) as I was suspicious of another none related problem, and the texts sent to him along with the video was him being 'wired', I have never done ketamine or Mandy, but I do know wired is for stimulate drugs.

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latheritup · 19/02/2020 17:54

You're correct in regards to wired. I'd be inclined to find out exactly what he's taken as they're not similar drugs and both have different consequences.

Take your time with him, he will respond better. I hope all goes well

Oblomov20 · 19/02/2020 18:04

13 is young? Does his year party alot?

Is he quiet and depressed? Or happy, but a party animal?

When pp Isadora said: "wanting to escape from something", is that true?

It wasn't for anyone I know. Not me. I just did a few things, for no other reason than I wanted to.

I know many teens now, who have tried a bit of a spliff etc, who are perfectly happy, from naice families, top sets at school, not trying to escape anything, just wanted to.

Llareggub · 19/02/2020 18:12

Blimey. My son is 13. I can’t imagine how worried you must be.

Jesz · 19/02/2020 20:01

He doesn't have anything to escape from, we don't necessarily live in the greatest and safest area, but honestly he doesn't have that many problems, I will have to bring that up.

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Jesz · 19/02/2020 20:02

Oblo, he has been to parties in his own year, but this is related to lads in year ten and much above (think graduated sixth form already)

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Isadora2007 · 19/02/2020 22:01

Can you ask him about it?

Isadora2007 · 19/02/2020 22:03

@Oblomov20 the addicts Im working with almost all started taking drugs to escape feelings, thoughts, situations etc. But to be fair I only see the extreme side here in Addictions- not the dabblers who tried a few things and then got on with life.

LynetteScavo · 20/02/2020 13:10

If someone's graduated 7th form they are an adult. They have given drugs to a child. I would be placing the blame on the older people.

19lottie82 · 21/02/2020 22:15

Most teenagers try drugs for fun, not to “escape”.

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