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DD15 never goes out!

(9 Posts)
Titsywoo Sun 09-Feb-20 23:52:01

Dd is in year 10 and is 16 later this year. She had a hard time when she started secondary school as she knew noone and due to being a bit shy and awkward just never clicked with anyone in her class. She eventually made some friends through clubs at school but it's always felt a but like she clung to them as there was noone else. They really have nothing in common. She still hangs out with these kids in a bigger group of friends but there is noone she is really close to. None of them seem to go out anywhere and even when they make plans they tend to fall through. I know dd would like to go out more but she has noone to do it with and she seems to have gotten stuck in a rut of hanging out in her room on her own.

She's a lovely girl and i suppose the upside is she works hard at school and isnt distracted by a social life so is getting all her homework and revision done on time etc etc. But she should be out having fun surely? At her age I was out all the time with my friends and was far more independent. She does things outside of school but not things where she has friends (art club and volunteering at the local Rainbows). She does have a few friends who she has known since childhood (family friends kids) and sees them a bit but they have their own social lives.

Im not sure what i can do really. Just wondering if anyone else had a kid who never went out as a younger teen but now has a crazy fun social life at 18? grin It would make me feel better! My brothers never went out when i was a teen and one even now in his 30s has very few friends and no social life. I don't want her to end up that way!

OP’s posts: |
MrsEricBana Sun 09-Feb-20 23:55:56

Both my kids didn't really go out as such in year 10 and they definitely do now. At age 15 they might go round to a friend's or go for a sleepover I suppose but def not going out in a group. Don't worry. It really kicks off in year 12 here.

BackforGood Sun 09-Feb-20 23:58:41

I think 15 is a bit of a funny age for 'going out'.
there's not that many places they can go. They are too young to earn money. Lots of young people at that age do their hobbies, but don't particularly 'go out' - often as there isn't really anywhere to go.

As you say she does go out to a hobby and out to some volunteering, it isn't like she is in her room just glued to a screen all the time smile

Titsywoo Sun 09-Feb-20 23:59:26

That's good to know! One of the girl's from dds class lives on the same road and is always out and about and going into town with friends/going to parties. She is one of the very popular kids. Still i saw her mum shouting down the street at her the other night because she'd stolen a bottle of wine so at least I'm avoiding all that worry grin

OP’s posts: |
Titsywoo Mon 10-Feb-20 00:01:10

That's true backforgood. Its too easy to compare to your own experiences i guess. I was getting pissed in the park at 15 but times are different. Not that i want her to be doing that!

OP’s posts: |
BackforGood Mon 10-Feb-20 00:01:44

'Going to parties' only started in the 6th form with all 3 of mine.
None of them have ever been interested in 'hanging round town' either.

Titsywoo Mon 10-Feb-20 08:57:17

Thanks. Glad to know its not particularly unusual.

OP’s posts: |
BeaStoic Mon 10-Feb-20 09:21:08

I could have written your OP almost word for word grin
And BackforGood is right about 15 being a tricky age for going out.
Better she's studying than getting pissed in the park! Sixth form college and university are not long off with lots of opportunities for our girls to meet their tribe or so I keep telling myself

Not everyone wants a "crazy social life" at 15 or any age. Could she arrange to do something - cinema, trip into town - with just one girl rather than as a group where there's more chance of people being flaky and dropping out?

JustDanceAddict Mon 10-Feb-20 17:51:30

Yes, my DD! She barely went out in Year 11. Had a small friendship group but was only ‘real’ friends with a couple of them and she had 1 or 2 friends who weren’t in the group.
Since sixth form she’s got a different group at school who are proper friends and she did NCS after GCSEs which opened up a whole new world of socialising! She goes to a couple of parties a month, gigs, for meals, shopping etc.
I used to massively worry about her but I don’t now. She’s going to uni in Sept and I’m sure she’ll be ok. She’s a bit quirky but she channels this quite well!!
DS is now year 11 and has phases of not doing much, esp this time of year, but he has a lot of friends and is well liked. I think some of it is cba-itis and a lot of his chatting w friends is online so why bother going out!!

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