(This will show up as a first post but I forgot my login details as I've not been on for ages)
Daughter is in a friendship group with three other girls. They're all age 15/16
They've always got on really well but became really close over the summer holidays last year and did most things together, as in if they were doing something, the others would all be invited so nobody was left out.
Over the last six/eight weeks, one of the girls has become very controlling of another (not my daughter)
She replies to group texts on this one girls behalf, invites this one girl out to do things as just the two of them, constantly causes drama and tells lies about the other two girls. Basically, it's like she's manipulating this other girl (who has some home problems) and alienating her from my daughter and the other girl in their friendship group.
They have tried to sort this out and said let her speak for herself, asked this girl to stop whispering to this one girl at school when they're together etc and asked why she's trying to cut the girl off when they were all friends and have done nothing wrong.
The controlling girl went home, lied and told her mum that my daughter was bullying her; which resulted in the mum sending me loads of aggressive texts. I tried to point out what had been going on but she wasn't having any of it. Next thing, I have the other girls mum messaging me accusing me of all sorts (obviously had been spoon fed lies by controlling girls mum)
I told her I didn't want to get involved with anything and wouldn't be replying anymore as I didn't like the accusatory tone of the messages.
The girls still hang out together at school but aren't as friendly and when I asked why they didn't just all go their separate ways, both my daughter and the other friend said they're really concerned about the other girl who is being controlled. She's behaving in a really immature manner (she never was) and spends every moment with the other girl, sleepovers all the time (even on school nights) and won't even go to the toilet without this girl; like she's totally dependent on her. Controlling girl (apologies for keep calling her this) lies all the time and we wonder what she's been saying.
I don't want to get involved but I want to help my daughter to do the right thing and I genuinely don't know what that is but she's obviously very concerned about what's happened and the drastic change in the non controlling girls personality.
I'm sorry this is so long but if anyone has any pearls of wisdom, I'd be most grateful.
Thank you.
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Daughters friend is controlling - advice please
6 replies
forgotmyoldemail · 27/01/2020 14:30
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