I've three DC-DS16, DD14 and DD3. We've always had problems with DD14, her behaviour mostly. Not wanting to do anything (homework, chores, keeping room tidy, brushing teeth) pretty much anything you ask her to do she will shout,stomp,slam doors. The phrases "why do I have to" and "no, I dont want to" are regularly shouted. Shes stolen money from her DS moneybox (notes) had the police round as she was caught shoplifting from a sweet shop with her friend. She regularly takes food and hides the empty wrappers in her room. Mouldy orange peel under her pillow, even found a mouldy orange under her duvet at the bottom of her bed. We've tried all the consequences, no tech, no school trips, grounding, loved things taken away all to no avail. Her personal hygiene is awful, just two weeks ago myself and DH did a full on deep clean/cull of her room and found over 20 pairs of knickers stuffed in drawers/boxes/bags. They were not clean. We've had discussions about hygiene (especially as she will be having periods at some point) but it's in one ear, out the other. The latest phrase to come out of her mouth is "I dont care how I speak to you."
My DS has always been well behaved, does his homework, helps with chores (begrudgingly but he still helps) until a few weeks ago. He was found stealing my vape liquid (after we'd found and then got rid of a vape-apparently he had got it from a friend) he started taking money from my purse, and again stole my liquid. When DH came home from work he took all tech from his room, all his loved things (gaming merchandise) and we found something rather grim. To say we were disgusted is an understatement. When DS came home from school he said nothing when he went in his room. An hour or so later DH went in and asked him if he was going to remove the grim discovery from his room, DS replied "I don't give a shit" (he never swears around us) DH went on to say it was disgusting, and that's probably why his room was stinking. DS then full on screamed "I dont fucking care, I dont give a shit" DH said he'd leave him to calm down. I went into his room half an hour later to tell him dinner was ready, only to find he'd gone out his window. Cue frantic phone calls and searching the streets for him. He eventually arrived at my brothers house, and stayed there the evening. When he came home the next day, there was no apology, no explanation, nothing. Anytime I try and talk to him, I get grunted at. I went to get the tree and decs from the loft (outside DD room) and not one offer of help, even as I'm shouting "could someone give me a hand with this big box" DH and I are just sick of the utter disrespect. It's like we are something they've stepped in. Now DD3 is picking up phrases from DD14, she tells me she doesnt care about me, asks me why I'm so mean and will have a fit when its brushing teeth time. I just cant take any more of this shit. Its grinding me down, the kids go to bed and I sit and cry wondering where I've gone wrong. I cant even be arsed with Christmas. This was to be the first christmas we've had at home (usually go to mils, but staying home this year) and Im honestly dreading it, I'd rather the two older ones stayed upstairs and opened their gifts on their own. If that makes me a shit mum, then I'm a shit mum. I'm sorry this is so long, but it feels slightly better getting it off my chest.
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19 replies
Bingcankissmyass · 08/12/2019 18:20
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