Daughters insecurity

(3 Posts)
walkiesforsanity Tue 19-Nov-19 08:31:26

Hi this is my first message, not used mumsnet before but am now desperate, my 16year old has terrible self confidence issues, she had an awful time at school, never really made friends, never stayed to after school clubs, no youth clubs only ever wanted to be at home, now started college doing what she always wanted to do Animals and now she is back to not wanting to go, she says all the people on the bus talk about her, she has friends at college butt hey live miles away, she never asks anyone home, says she hates herself etc., hates home, hate living with us , if you have teenagers you know how it goes, can anyone suggest a group, for teenagers that may help build her confidence, I have tried therapy - my daughter is adopted and has been with us for 10 years, but cannot make friends. really starting to worry and need something to help her feel great as she is so amazing.

OP’s posts: |
TeenPlusTwenties Wed 20-Nov-19 10:05:54

I'm not sure I have anything helpful to say, but she sounds a bit like my DD1 who is 20 and is also adopted (aged 8). I'm at a loss with her really.

We paid for counselling for DD1 for quite a while when she was 16/17/18/19 (started regularly then less frequently). I don't really know whether it helped but she was walking on a (metaphorical) precipice for a long while.
We just had a row yesterday about the fact she isn't working (quit a job 3 months ago because 'it was bad for her mental health'), she doesn't want to talk to us, or her BF or her friends 'doesn't want to burden them' (or maybe they are all BF friends really).
She thinks we're unsympathetic, but you can lead a horse and all that. As soon as something is going OK these days she seems to self-sabotage.

Would you driving her in help?
Private counselling?
Contact college tutor?
Get a dog?
Fresh air and exercise?

The college isn't Sparsholt in Hants is it by any chance?

TeenPlusTwenties Wed 20-Nov-19 19:11:11

As you are new I'm going to tag you @walkiesforsanity in case you don't realise you don't get notified about replies.

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