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Am I being mean

(26 Posts)
thewalkers Tue 12-Nov-19 12:44:15

So my 13 nearly 14 year old gets £10per week pocket money, put into his bank that he has control over. He also gets £20per month in his hand from a family member.
I pay his phone contact as well as all essentials (clothes,deodorants,haircuts etc).
He wants to start going to the gym, it costs £1 per session.
Should this be paid by him or me do you think?

OP’s posts: |
SpongeBobJudgeyPants Tue 12-Nov-19 12:45:34

I think I might be inclined to cover 2 gym sessions a week, if you can afford it?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Tue 12-Nov-19 12:46:23

Anything in addition to the 2, or whatever no, to be funded by him?

GrumpyHoonMain Tue 12-Nov-19 12:46:45

I would personally pay for gym / sports but not the phone.

Herocomplex Tue 12-Nov-19 12:48:36

If you can afford it yes, it’s a positive thing for him to be doing. If you can’t afford the extra then explain that. There are much more expensive hobbies to choose, I’d be thankful it’s not!

ChanChanChan Tue 12-Nov-19 12:50:54

£60 a month for a 13 / 14 yr old? He should pay for his gym, especially as it's only £1 a session.

FWIW, my 16 and 17 yr old DC get £20 a month each. I pay for everything as you do.

thewalkers Tue 12-Nov-19 12:53:29

He spends nearly all of his money on gaming and saves none. So I'm liking the idea of paying a set amount of sessions.
Hopefully he will learn to money manage if he has to budget for extra gym sessions.

OP’s posts: |
thewalkers Tue 12-Nov-19 12:57:47

Chanchanchan that was exactly my thinking when I wrote the post.
But I feel torn as the gym would be a good habit to start.

OP’s posts: |
TheReluctantCountess Tue 12-Nov-19 13:03:38

He should pay himself - he gets a lot of money!

pastelyellow Tue 12-Nov-19 13:05:07

I'm 23, didn't get any pocket money except for a couple £ here and there if I was meeting friends etc. I had my necessities bought for me, and a £10 phone top up every month and that's it - I had to try and stretch my birthday/Christmas money through the year. If I wanted to go to the gym for £1 a go, I would probably be allowed maybe £2/3 a week for that.
Imo you should not be paying for the gym - it may help your son learn about budgeting/prioritising etc

pastelyellow Tue 12-Nov-19 13:10:00

Apologies, just realised I sound very ‘woe is me’ - I just meant I think it’s good to learn the value of money and the difference between necessity and a treat

thewalkers Tue 12-Nov-19 13:13:13

Not at all pastel, I got what you meant.
That was the point in pocket money to learn to budget and it isn't happening. So defeats the point if I pay.
But on the other hand the gym is a good hobby to start.

OP’s posts: |
kjhkj Tue 12-Nov-19 13:14:27

My 14 year old gets no pocket money

Beamur Tue 12-Nov-19 13:17:35

I think it is something that pocket money should pay for.

RockinHippy Tue 12-Nov-19 13:23:38

That is a decent amount fir a 14yo, so you are definitely not being mean.

I think as the gym is such a positive though, I'd encourage him by paying for it. DD is now older, but she had a similar amount from 15 onwards, we did always pay for anything health positive or educational as extras though as we felt that supporting good choices financially also sends out a very positive message. At 17, she's got a really good head on her shoulders for money

Gorbie Tue 12-Nov-19 13:36:44

My 13 yr old has currently £5 per week but we're increasing it to £10 now but we've increased his jobs he does around the house to reflect the extra money. If he was spending his money on gaming then I'd insist he pays for his gym out of his money. My lad had nothing extra focus if he wants to go shopping, swimming, cinema etc it comes out of his pocket money and he pays

TeenPlusTwenties Tue 12-Nov-19 16:18:03

I'd give him less money (£60/month is a lot on non essentials) but pay for the gym as you want him to go!

Herocomplex Tue 12-Nov-19 20:21:05

@kjhkj is there a reason for that? Do they earn all they need?

kjhkj Wed 13-Nov-19 10:02:15

@kjhkj is there a reason for that? Do they earn all they need?

He just makes birthday and Christmas money last. We pay for his phone, clothes, travel etc. He's 14 so I'm not sure why he'd need so much money?

However the situation might be a bit different for him I guess since he doesn't go out in the evenings (clubs after school most evenings until 6pm and then home for food and homework) and he has saturday school for half a day every saturday. Then on a Sunday morning he has duke of edinburgh volunteering. So he isn't just wandering around town with mates very often.

kjhkj Wed 13-Nov-19 10:03:03

The chores around the house he does for free for the privilege of living there - like the rest of us.

Raphael34 Wed 13-Nov-19 10:09:01

He’s not budgeting because he doesn’t have to. He’s getting his phone paid for, essentials paid for, and £60 a month to spend on what he wants. That’s a hell of a lot for a kid his age. My dd gets £10 a week. We’ve recently moved a few miles away from her friends, so that’s to include bus fare etc when she goes back to see her friends, plus she pays her own cheap phone contract which is £13 a month. If she went to the gym I’d expect her to pay for that too. If I gave her £60 a month and paid her phone contract etc, she’d blow the lot on crap like your sons doing

MrsFoxPlus4Again Wed 13-Nov-19 10:09:17

It’s something his pocket money should and can pay for. You don’t get £60 a month for games.

thewalkers Wed 13-Nov-19 11:23:45

Ok this post had been helpful thank you everyone.
He will be paying for his own gym sessions.

OP’s posts: |
FishCanFly Wed 13-Nov-19 14:43:30

Gym i would happily pay for - anything to give a break from screens. But maybe cancel his phone contract. PAYG at his age should be enough, and he could get that from his pocket money.

AngelsWithSilverWings Wed 13-Nov-19 14:57:30

My14 year old get £5 p/w pocket money transferred to his bank account and he has a paper round that pays him £12 p/w ( although it's usually more as he often picks up an extra round or two )

I pay for all after school activities so I would include gym seasons in with those and pay it for him.

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