Teen not eating breakfast- bad mum?

(27 Posts)
RobertSmithdoesmyhair Thu 07-Nov-19 09:33:29

My 13 year old has gone to school today without any breakfast. She can't get up in the mornings, despite being called for an hour every day. She generally surfaces 10 mins before she leaves. This morning she got up 5 mins before leaving, so i told her she didn't have time to eat. She wouldn't take a banana or toast.
She is 13. Am i a bad mum or does she need to learn some time mgmt in the mornings? She goes to bed at 9.30 with no phone.

OP’s posts: |
UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername Thu 07-Nov-19 09:35:38

I'm inclined to think you're doing all you can do; at some point they have to take responsibility. But if you're a bad mum, so am I - I have a 9 year old who won't eat school lunches, no matter what we give her. At this stage we've just accepted that we have to make her lunch every day and then throw it out after school.

Deecaff Thu 07-Nov-19 19:23:17

Mine doesn't have breakfast either - hasn't for ages. Don't beat yourself up, there are worse things.

Sparklingbrook Thu 07-Nov-19 19:31:16

Mine has never eaten breakfast-his choice. He says he's not hungry when he wakes up.

Looneytune253 Thu 07-Nov-19 19:36:24

At that age I've learned to let them take responsibility for their own stuff. My daughter never wants to take a coat and I used to argue with her and force her but then realised it doesn't really matter. She will now wear her coat when it's particularly cold or wet. She recently went thru a phase of not eating brekkie but she's back to eating it again. They learn quickly that they need to do these things lol

HunnyMummy1993 Thu 07-Nov-19 20:41:12

Oh god, are you my mum.

She spent years trying to force me to eat bloody breakfast. I HATE it. Even now, as an adult in my (cough) forties, I never eat before 11am.

Send her with a banana and respect her non—breakfasty ways.

BackforGood Fri 08-Nov-19 23:44:24

Don't ALL teens choose to go without breakfast ?


Fishcakey Fri 08-Nov-19 23:48:33

Mine only eats breakfast because I plonk a bowl of cereal next to his bed every morning. Otherwise he wouldn't eat and it would be his own fault as despite repeated yelling every day he fails to get up before 8am. Do not feel guilty.

Secretbadlife Fri 08-Nov-19 23:57:54

If she eats a lunch I wouldn't worry. Mine never eat lunch so I give them warm cooked ones in the winter and keep it varied (bloody hotel I call it! grin. Its hard for teens to eat breakfast amidst the morning grog! One of mine is untypically able to get up on time everyday but has lunch when she gets home! If she's not ill constantly or very underweight I'd leave it. Give her something to put in her bag for break and say got you these so you have something if you're hungry on the way. Keep your manner light. Good luck.

Medievalist Sat 09-Nov-19 00:04:52

My mum used to insist I ate a bowl of cereal and 2 slices of toast every morning before I could go to school. I can remember the awfulness of forcing down food that I didn't want. We once slept in on an exam morning and I was late because I wasn't allowed to leave the house without breakfast. I'm in my 50s now and have always had an unhealthy relationship with food. And I have never felt like breakfast until I've been up for a couple of hours. Please don't force her to eat when she doesn't want to. Could you get her some healthy cereal bars, packets of fruit/nuts/seeds etc that she could have mid-morning?

rookjayy Sat 09-Nov-19 00:08:44

Sounds very much like my dd, refused to eat it since she was 9 and is now 17 I send her in with some fruit and she doesn't seem starving.

BrokenWing Sat 09-Nov-19 10:49:06

Yikes, at 13 dh would have made sure ds was up first time he was called, point him in the direction of the shower and would put breakfast on dinning table for him and made sure he was down to eat it. If he regularly didn't want to get up an earlier bedtime would be suggested. He wasn't keen and would pass on cereal/toast, so we tried different breakfasts and porridge/fruit or eggs/beans/bacon or sausage were more popular.

now at 15, he doesn't like an alarm so weekdays we knock, pause (just incase 😊), open his bedroom door, don't look in, say morning and walk away. He gets up within a couple of mins, goes straight in the shower then - while dh showers - he gets dressed and microwaves himself a huge bowl of porridge (he puts oats/milk to soak in fridge overnight so he can just stick it in) and chops/mixes in a banana (all while watching youtube 🙄). At the weekend we do a basic cooked breakfast.

Even then he is feeling hungry by 11am break, when he gets a roll in sausage. He now likes this routine and would struggle in morning lessons if he hadn't showered/eaten breakfast.

13 is still young enough to be cajoling/steering, not forcing, them towards good habits, especially ones that set them up for a good morning in school when they are working towards exam year, too young to leave them to it if they haven't developed them yet.

Frenchfancy Sat 09-Nov-19 10:54:00

Well if you are a bad mum I've been one for years. Dd1 hated breakfast and stopped eating it about age 12. 8 years later and DD3 now 13 doesn't eat it either. She is borderline overweight so I refuse to force more calories into her. She takes a cereal bar which she sometimes eats. She has no access to other food until the canteen at lunchtime.

MeganTheVegan Sat 09-Nov-19 10:56:55

I think she’s going to bed too late. My 14 year old DS goes to bed at 8.30 pm and we still have a few problems getting him up in the morning. Teenagers need a lot of sleep.

Kelsoooo Sat 09-Nov-19 11:00:17

830? Way too early for a 14 year old! Jesus.

OP I still don't eat breakfast now, and I'm 30.
My youngest is much the same, but we do cajole her into something, literally anything in the morning. But she's only 7 so needs it. Some days it's a big bowl of porridge with a banana, other days it's half a slice of toast with chocolate spread. We can't force feed kids.

hangonamo Sat 09-Nov-19 11:02:23

DD13 is the same, some people don't like to eat breakfast, I wouldn't worry. DS15 can't function without two bowls of cereal in the morning, DD feels better if she doesn't eat till later.

hangonamo Sat 09-Nov-19 11:03:58

Also shock at a 14yo going to bed at 8.30 but if that works best then go for it

makingmiracles Sat 09-Nov-19 11:10:39

NO BIggie, my 13ds naturally doesn’t eat before lunchtime although he does on school days as that’s whats expected, he’s in bed at 10pm And up at 7am

mynameisigglepiggle Sat 09-Nov-19 11:14:17

I'm the worse mum ever! I struggle to get my two year to eat breakfast most days!!!!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Sat 09-Nov-19 11:17:40

Just buy some cereal bars, bananas and those individually wrapped pain au chocolate. Leave them on the bench so she can grab a couple of things as she walks out the door.

PsychosonicCindy Sat 09-Nov-19 11:22:23

Omg I could've written this post myself! My 13 year old daughter is exactly the same! I don't feel bad as food is available if wanted, what else can you do? I try to be as gentle as possible about the organisational stuff I remember how much it sucks to be 13.

BrokenWing Sat 09-Nov-19 11:27:13

* 830? Way too early for a 14 year old! Jesus.*

Not all 14 years olds are the same. Some need more sleep than others and the poster didn't say what time they get up at. It makes complete sense for them to go to bed at 8:30 if it means they get up refreshed, have time to shower and eat breakfast instead of sticking then out the door half asleep, 10 mins after waking unwashed, unfed with a sugary cereal bar!!! It hardly prepares them for a day of learning.

I go to bed at 9-9:30pm mid week because I get up early. Is that too early for an adult?

oreomum Sat 09-Nov-19 11:56:09

Mine don't eat breakfast but they eat at break which is up to them at this age imo.

JustDanceAddict Sun 10-Nov-19 12:48:10

Dd sometimes doesn’t but had some digestive issues recently which may have caused her not to fancy it. She usually has small bowl of cereal but there isn’t much you can do if she doesn’t want it. We all leave the house early but the rest of us eat something. You could send her with a cereal bar if you’re concerned though.

ragged Sun 10-Nov-19 12:58:23

I didn't eat breakfast. But my parents didn't know. They weren't that involved! Never ever did I see them as bad parents for this.

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