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DS 17 and GF Sleepover

(12 Posts)
catmam Fri 27-Sep-19 23:01:53

My 17 year old son has been seeing a girl who is the year below him at school since before the summer. She lives 15 miles away so he gets the bus to her house and I collect him at night time. He's been doing this 2-3 times a week for quite a few months. I've told him his friends are always welcome at our home but for some reason he won't invite her up. We live in the main town where there are shops, cinema, pizza restaurants, McDonald's, walk along the river etc. Where she lives there is nothing to do. He won't give me a reason as to why he hasn't/can't invite her up therefore I'm starting to get really paranoid that maybe he's embarrassed by me, his family, his home. Now he's asking if he can stay overnight at her house .. yikes!!

OP’s posts: |
IdblowJonSnow Fri 27-Sep-19 23:09:47

Question number 1, is she 16 or over?
What does he say when you ask to meet her?
I would say no way until you've met her and had a chat with her parents.
I was all8wed to stay overnight at a boyfriend's house when I was 17 and he was 18. That felt about right. Couldn't believe it when my mum said yes. But she'd met him many times by then and we'd been together for several months.

catmam Fri 27-Sep-19 23:19:09

Yes she would be over 16. I'd love all my kids to feel their friends are very welcome here. He's shy/awkward and doesn't have a social life apart from going to her house at weekends. He'll not give me a reason as to why she won't come to our house so in the end I just end up feeling like he's embarrassed by me or our home! I've offered to drive her home as I know she has a younger sibling who I imagine would be in bed by the time she would want to go home.

OP’s posts: |
Pumpkintopf Fri 27-Sep-19 23:48:03

I'd say no to the sleepover until you meet her and chat to her parents.

catmam Sat 28-Sep-19 00:01:28

@pumpkintopf @udblowjonsnow

What age are your kids?

OP’s posts: |
SleepingStandingUp Sat 28-Sep-19 00:05:54

I'd assume it's easier to have sex at her house than yours so he goes to hers

TigerDroveAgain Sat 28-Sep-19 00:06:08

You do a 30 mile round trip several times a week? I’d let him stay!

shinynewapple Sat 28-Sep-19 00:15:10

I would be unhappy that my DS didn't feel he could bring his friends home but I would let him stay at his 16 year old GF's - assuming it's fine with her mum and they've been together some months.

FI my DS is 18

italianfiat Sat 28-Sep-19 00:21:20

I remember an almost identical thread 3/4 weeks back..

Pumpkintopf Sat 28-Sep-19 01:18:36

Op similar age and situation to yours, I've met her and met her father and chatted to her mother.

waterrat Wed 02-Oct-19 15:54:55

I had an 18 yr old boyfriend at 16 and parents never met. I would have found that a bit mortifying

Firefliess Thu 03-Oct-19 00:23:37

I think requiring to meet her parents before he can stay over would be very strange indeed! They're 16/17, not 7shock. I'd let him stay over if her parents are ok about it. But it's very hard to second guess why he won't bring her round to yours. Is she much richer? Very shy? Lacking any means of getting home at the end of an evening? Would DS bring her round when it's maybe just you in, not the whole family? Do you meet her even briefly when you pick DS up? I'd push him a bit harder to tell you

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