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Dd and boyfriend or rather ex

(7 Posts)
Anonymous42 Tue 24-Sep-19 16:57:14

Long story.
Basically my almost 16 year old daughter got into a brief three month relationship with my best friends godson who is almost 17 we will call him C this boy comes from quite a dysfunctional family and is estranged from his mother. To cut a very long story short he went on holiday with his aunt and her family and some of their friends including his cousins best friend. While he was on holiday he messaged from his cousin (who I will refer to as L) snapchat account to my dd saying he wants a break, my dd was devastated. She then recieved a snapchat video from his cousin that showed C saying he was going to kiss his cousins best friend ( I will refer to her as S) again. She was devastated. When Dd spoke to C about it, he told her it was just an inside joke. Anyways a few days after that Dd found out that C and S are together. This was three weeks ago and dd and C have been in contact with each other. He has blown hot and cold with her. He has been messaged to stay away from dd as she has really really been upset and her GCSEs are approaching and she has a history of mental health. He screenshots messages and sends them to her, he tells her what his family and new girlfriends family say about her and her family, She is having trouble at school from S and her friends, he has told her that one of her friends tried flirting with him so now dd wont speak to friend, he tells her he doesnt want to be with S but he cant end it yet because they will take it out on dd. He told dd that S mistook him asking her out and that she cried and he felt too bad to correct her. I find him manipulative. Dd just can not see it and believes him. I'm sorry if this dont make sense but I'm trying to explain as best as I can. Has anybody else been through this? Please go easy on me, this is my first time posting and I'm just a worried mother who would just would like some advice from other mums xxx

OP’s posts: |
Anonymous42 Tue 24-Sep-19 16:58:30

I'm aware I may not make sense just please ask and I will explain further xx

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Arewedone Tue 24-Sep-19 17:44:57

Really sorry your Dd is dealing with this, can she just block him on all social media? Doesn’t sound like there is anything positive about this interaction.

Anonymous42 Tue 24-Sep-19 19:35:55

I wish that was an option but she refuses too and she meets up with him too as he is local. Xxx

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Arewedone Tue 24-Sep-19 23:56:04

Then it really doesn’t sound like there is a lot you can do other than try and express your concerns to her whilst reminding her of her own self worth. This year is an important year and she wants to give herself the best chance of success for her future. Could you try and limit the opportunities she has to meet up with him?

Anonymous42 Wed 25-Sep-19 07:53:53

Yeah we have been doing that, I guess I've just got to ride it out and keep reminding her that she is loved by us and is a great person. Thank you for the advice xxx

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Anonymous42 Wed 25-Sep-19 07:59:37

Oh and thank you for reading! I guess I've got to let her make her own mistakes and just be there for her. It really is tough as a parent to watch. She has been through so much in her life already with bullying and growing up as a sibling to a brother with special needs, we lost my father in law last year and it hit her hard as she adored him. She is a lovely girl who has a lot of compassion and empathy and is the type of girl to always befriend the underdog. She just deserves to be happy xxx once again thank you xx

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