My 15 ye old DS has spent most his life in hospital, he's missed out on a huge portion of social bits and pieces and is also quite immature for his age due to some developmental delay. He's a sociable boy though, keen to please and get involved but he really seems to be struggling, I think it's because he's not 'cool' he's quite excitable and boisterous at an age where his peers are calm, cooler and into girls and music and dating.
He's always denied any issues and always says he has locals of friends at school (mainstream secondary on a reduced timetable)
Other family meme gets children at the school have said this simply isn't true (not in an unkind way) and said DS is always found with his brother (my DS2) and his friends.
I have tried getting him involved in scouts but although he joined in and was keen he never really formed any friendships to take outside the group.
I'm not sure what to do, I can't make him make friends at school and I can't make the other kids spend time with him.
It's come to a head today as it's DS's Birthday, he had arranged for a friend who lives near by to have a sleepover and has spent an age planning it. This friend is a couple of years older, he is a fair weather friend and has form for dropping out of things last minute (citing parents ruling) and will often only be around if there's something in it for him.
DS is devastated as friend has text to say he's no longer coming. He only has 2 other boys from school on his phonebook and called both of them, they both said thanks for the offer but they're busy and wished him a happy birthday. (Understandable last minute)
DS is obviously really embarrassed as well as being gutted.
I have tried to gently speak to him before about trying to make some new and different friends and it's either fallen on deaf ears or he's tried and it's nots come to anything, he won't say which.
There's no youth clubs here and I did look at social groups for children and teens with extra needs but all the ones locally DS doesn't feel he fits in because his extra needs aren't apparent on first sight and he's NT, the groups locally are for children with severe SN.
Does anyone have any bright ideas that I could use to gently try and foster friendships and support him in creating a solid social circle..
I hope my post hasn't offended anyone, I never know how to accurately address these things.
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Can anyone help me help DS to make friends?
12 replies
TitsalinaBumSquash · 14/09/2019 11:20
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