What are your teens going to be doing over the summer holidays?

(30 Posts)
Titsywoo Fri 19-Jul-19 10:37:51

I normally love the holidays but I'm feeling apprehensive this year. DD14 has struggled for many years with friendships and never gets invited anywhere or has invitations accepted by her "friends" outside of school. She's obviously desperate to be out and about hanging out with mates but it just doesn't happen. Normally in the holidays we do days out, see grandparents and we go away a couple of times with my friend and her kids which we have booked again for this year. My friends DD and mine have been very close for years. Unfortunately it appears a lot has changed recently and friends DD seems to have very little interest in my DD anymore which has been very upsetting for her (and has the potential to be very awkward during our holidays!).

So at this point DD can hang around with me and DD2 (who is also desperate to hang out with friends and is likely to be more successful) which will probably be fairly boring for her. We'll do stuff she likes of course but she'd rather be with friends sad

So just thought I'd start this thread to get ideas from everyone else! What are your plans or will your kids be doing their own thing all summer?

OP’s posts: |
Titsywoo Fri 19-Jul-19 10:42:09

Sorry that reads badly DD1 is 14 and DD2 is 11

OP’s posts: |
TeenTimesTwo Fri 19-Jul-19 11:29:10

DD2 is 14. She also doesn't tend to see friends over the summer. She only has a small group, and by the time out of sync holidays have happened they aren't around together much.

She has a 1 week activity course booked.

I have just done a list, because it helps focus out minds.
Useful chores (such as helping cook, sorting her bookcase)
In house activities (such as fun cooking, colouring)
Outside things (trips, cinema, swimming etc)

I find having lists helps us all have a better summer rather than it being spent entirely infront of the TV.

llynnnn Fri 19-Jul-19 11:41:45

I'm interested in this too, my dd1 is 13 and refuses to go to any activity clubs over the holidays with dd2 who is 10.

Me and dh will be off work for 3 weeks of the hols and she'll spend the rest of the time either with grandparents or at home on her own (on her phone/xbox/netflix no doubt!) I'm trying to encourage her to make plans with friends but as with your dd teentimestwo they often aren't free when she is etc...

good idea about the lists, its going to be a struggle to motivate her this holiday i feel...

mcmen71 Fri 19-Jul-19 15:52:24

I have a dd1 16 and dd2 14 and they would never be in the house if I didn't put my foot down so enjoy the time you have with them at home because they grow up so quick.
I work 4 days a week and dh works from home so every day they do a household chore. Play a board game with ds 11.
They then in return get to go out 1 day at weekend with friends.
Dd1 start a part time job tomorrow so that will keep her busy.
Does your dd to any activity that you could invite someone from that to your house. Sometimes these friends are better than school friends.

Yellowweatherwarning Fri 19-Jul-19 16:12:18

Ds 15 announced he would be sleeping the first 5 weeks....

BrokenWing Sat 20-Jul-19 12:22:25

ds(15), Scotland, and we are just finishing the 3rd week of holidays. He'll do a combination of hanging out with friends and he wants to get fitter.

He's been going to gym/circuit training 3 times a week during holidays and plays football at local grass/astro pitches with friends or messes about in the river at the local park or does the usual cinema/shopping centre days out. Mostly cycles to get where he needs to be in town. Pretty much the same as last year although stays out a bit later, but with the added gym this year which he does in the mornings before his friends are up and ready.

He organises his own days out, it isn't invites, everyone is in group chats and the majority decide where most of them are going (with about an hours notice!) and where/when they are meeting up and its up to you if you go or not, catch up with them later, or do something else with the others that aren't going. I guess we are lucky as we are in Scotland and 99% of pupils go to their catchment school so all friends are close by or within cycling distance 2-3 miles tops, and once they meet up at a central point the places they cycle to are within the town so 6-7 miles tops.

He tries to get out as much as possible as he knows I'll find something for him to do if he doesn't 😈


JustDanceAddict Sat 20-Jul-19 12:22:58

That age is tough - my DD struggled at that age w friendships. She had maybe 3 friends she’d see from school in the hols and it was tough to fill the time. Now she has just finished year 12 and her social life is so much better. Not going to parties all the time but she has solid friends in and out of school and online(!) and just found her people more in sixth form.
Even DS struggled a bit in Year 9 despite being much more socially at ease. I think a lot of it is kids maturing at different rates.
If she is at home she can learn to cook, bake, go for walks. Is she into any specific band or singer - that can also help cultivate friendship - or any activity (sport or drama?) this has helped my DCs too.

lovelyupnorth Sat 20-Jul-19 12:48:31

At 14 my DDs both worked a couple of days a week, rest of the time was a mixture of family holiday and they also went away to GP by themselves for a week.

lovelyupnorth Sat 20-Jul-19 12:49:15

And not leaving their rooms.

Much easier now as 18 & 17 and older one can drive.

Pipandmum Sat 20-Jul-19 12:59:42

My 15 year old son is out either at work, in the gym, hanging with mates or with his girlfriend. He doesn’t sleep in he’s got to be doing something.
My 14 year old daughter doesn’t get up til noon and is happy hanging out at home. She has a small group of friends and they’ve had a day out at the beach and are slowly organising another paddle boarding day. But day to day if I ask her if she wants a friend around (we have a pool) she quickly says no. She’s just not interested. She comes out with me occasionally, or when her brother insists we go out for a meal (then he eats really quickly and wants to leave, whereas me and my daughter eat slowly and like to sit and chat), we have a couple films we want to see too. She does at times go off for an hour long walk by herself. If she was unhappy I’d be concerned but she says she’s perfectly content.

AdalindMeisner Sat 20-Jul-19 13:02:26

My daughter is a couple of years older than your daughter but she has struggled with friendships all her life. She has ASD and crippling anxiety. She wants friends but hasn't been able to develop strong bonds with anyone. She attends a youth group for 12-25 year old with ASD once a week and also a LGBT+ youth group once a week. Whilst it hasn't given her strong friendships it does get her mixing with others her age. Are there any youth groups she could attend: a) to get her out of the house and b) to possibly build friendships outside of school?

Yellowweatherwarning Sat 20-Jul-19 13:04:22

In 3 rooms there are noisey games consoles going off!!
My head is done in and my dc don't officially finish til Tues pm!

QueenofLouisiana Sat 20-Jul-19 16:55:52

Sport, gaming, sleeping.

Sporting commitments are structuring the first 2 weeks really- competing, training and spectating on different days. Spare time will be devoted to sleeping and gaming.

After that, we have a few other things planned before we go away for a couple of weeks.

AlpenCrazy Sat 20-Jul-19 17:03:12

Mine meets up with primary school local friends as well as secondary school friends

It's her 13th birthday in the holidays so that's a sleepover with one group and a sleepover party with the others

We've a couple of days out planned with friends to London etc plus we have a two week holiday abroad so will spend a chunk of time holiday clothes shopping, packing etc which she loves!

She's a real homebody at heart though and is quite happy chilling at home.

trockodile Sat 20-Jul-19 17:18:36

In Scotland. DS is 14. We were away for 10 days, then he had a drama group for a week-10-3. Next week will be spent gaming/Netflix/walking dogs etc, with 1 day activity course. He then goes to Berlin for 2 week language/lake holiday. The last week will probably be spent with his dad. I’m happy to be flexible and allow screens etc if he does the other stuff.

Daddylonglegs1965 Sat 20-Jul-19 17:23:04

I have DS 15 and DD14. We were going to go camping this weekend but the weather is pants so we are just having a chilled weekend they both met up with different friends on Fri afternoon.
This morning DS decided to tidy his wardrobe and bedroom without being prompted and had a good sort out of school stuff and clothes that no longer fit etc. So have some things for charity, some clothes for clothes bank and some things to eBay. We went into town and bought him some new undies, socks and a couple of T-shirts this afternoon.
We left DD at home as she has been cheeky to DH and myself she’s on her iPad speaking to a friend.
I am working two days this week and they have both strangely enough made plans for one of the days (without my suggesting anything).
We have some days out usually walks with the dog (on a beach or in the Lakes), we go up to Edinburgh or Newcastle shopping and to the Edinburgh Fringe (have lunch out sometimes). Watch a film together or the cinema).
We will have a weekend camping and a fortnights hol abroad.
With two girls you could do baking or cooking, have a pamper day (at home), do some art/craft if they are arty/crafty (maybe tye dyeing), swimming, visit the local
Library, maybe go horse riding or do a zip wire etc. Maybe encourage trying a couple of new activities. Neither of my two hardly saw anyone last summer as most friends were on hols early in the holiday where as we go away the last two weeks in August.

I would maybe cancel the holiday as it will be hard for both girls.

I do think they need some unscheduled/ down time in the hols too OP.

MsTSwift Sat 20-Jul-19 17:26:01

Packing our 13 year off to Madrid for an exchange

HistoryTide2 Sat 20-Jul-19 18:21:05

DS16, post - GCSEs:

lie-ins till about 11 to midday
vague and intermittent searches for jobs
occasional conversations with me
occasional arguments with me
sometimes going out with friends for the afternoon to play football or "hang out" (yesterday a man of about 18-19 threatened him with a knife for his money in the park ; this stuff isn't reported!)
playing with the cat for 10 minutes here and there
mostly, it seems to me, not doing all that much.

namechangedforthis1980 Sat 20-Jul-19 18:41:38

DS1 (15) will probably spend the holidays sleeping, eating, playing on the PS4 and probably a few days out/ parties etc with friends

He's going into year 11 and school have set loads of summer homework so he'll have to do at least a day a week of work towards that.

He would have liked a little job but I can't find anything.

DH is off for a week so I'm hoping DS will spend some time with us that week. I don't expect him to socialise with us the rest of the time!

Herocomplex Sat 20-Jul-19 18:47:15

Would she volunteer? The Summer Reading Challenge at the local library is open to children over 12. They need volunteers to help run the scheme, and it’s good experience.
Start a new hobby?
It’s really miserable if you feel everyone’s having fun. Some are, but a lot aren’t.

Geraniumpink Sun 21-Jul-19 16:32:28

Theatre day, art, cooking, a few days of meeting up with friends, dog walking, skateboard lessons. A London day. Cadets. Room tidying and cleaning.

growlingbear Sun 21-Jul-19 16:38:36

I really feel for her. It's so hard when everyone else seems to move in a gang and you don't have one.

Can you sign her up for a drama course? They're a great way of making friends. Or a music or sports' week? Our local sailing club does kayak weeks and sailing weeks. They seem sociable.

Give her some time alone too if she's happy with it - to read and listen to music and pour out teen angst into a diary. Maybe suggest she does some money earning projects, like offering to do paper rounds over the summer while the usual paper boy or girl is on holiday or doing pet sitting or dog walking.
Could you offer to take her for a makeover - new hairstyle and set of clothes that she feels great in.

EvaHarknessRose Sun 21-Jul-19 17:10:02

A weekend festival with us
A weekend seeing my relatives
Dd1 has some sports clubs continuing
Dd2 wants to work on her languages and do some fitness she will possibly see friends too
Dd1 has a gym membership and might go, she might volunteer at the community shop too if they need her, plus she has a lot of homework amd coursework
Dh will take them sailing a few days
They might tidy their rooms which are disgusting
They will probably cook cookies and popcorn a lot and watch films together

growlingbear Sun 21-Jul-19 17:16:29

Sorry - I forgot to answer the question blush
DS1 is away for most of it on a school trip and then a sports tour.
DS2 is doing a week's music camp. He's been kayaking with me and has a few more outings with me and/or DH planned. He may try to catch up with mates from school but he's not great at that during the holidays.

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