DD is an alcoholic

[MrsGrammaticus]

DD18 is an alcoholic. A proud alcoholic in denial. I don't want to expand on the background but it involves grief, exam pressure and depression. I've no idea what to do. I have younger teen and I'm sick of the lying. I love her, I want to help her but she just lies and drinks secretly. I actually want to move out for my sanity and to provide a stable home for the younger one. I love her but simultaneously also want to scream at her. I cannot though as she self harms and a few months back was suicidal. She has full psychiatric gp / counselling support and is on anti depressants. I feel miserable lonely and trapped. Help!

[Ticklingcheese]

Sorry you are all hurting mrsgrammaticus, don't have much advice, sounds as if you dd is selfmedicating.

Could you talk it over with her gp or therapists? They probably won't tell you anything but you can draw their attention to her drinking (she probably hasn't told them herself). Also contact aa or other organizations for support.

Sorry for not being of much help, but a handhold from me 💐.

[Rachelover40]

Antidepressants and alcohol are not a good mix and alcohol definitely make anxiety and depression worse.

Sometimes it takes people reaching rock bottom before they are prepared to face up to problems, then they climb back up. Your daughter needs your support with all of this and thank goodness she ha you as a constant presence but you don't only have one child to consider.

Please take care of yourself, if you don't you won't be able to cope or give support. It's important for all of us to prioritise our own needs sometimes.

Very best wishes to you and your family. I'm so sorry you have so much worry.

[Igmum]

So sorry OP 💐💐. Al-Anon helps the families of alcoholics just as AA helps alcoholics. It might be worth contacting them 💐💐

[MrsGrammaticus]

Thanks all .....I'm heading to Al Anon next week and sorting Alateen for our DS16, so that's something. She's highly functional, and this is the problem. If you took a look at her she's a fresh faced lovely....nobody would know. I'm with her totally for the depression, with her for an alcohol recovery but it's the games of cat and mouse I can't bear and the lying. It turns a nice person into someone you know longer recognise.

[pointythings]

Al-Anon will help you set boundaries so that you can decide what you will and won't tolerate from her - and then stick to that. She's 18 and you may indeed have to ask her to leave in order to protect your other child. Life with an alcoholic is hell, no matter what their age. (With me it was my husband and I can only imagine how much harder it is when it's your child).

[Empra123]

I had to make my DS homeless at 18 for much the same reason- I had to protect his younger siblings. The local mental health team found him a place in supported housing. It was hell for some time but he has been much better over the last year, he's gone back to college and is about to start a senior apprenticeship. He's now almost 21 and although he still drinks it does seem to be just social drinking.