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Stolen money(10 Posts)
Hi I'm new here and have a bit of a dilemma, last weekend I had some money stolen. On Friday £60 was taken but because my 2 girls both had friends round my husband and I let it go as there was no way we could proof who took it. However, Sunday, we both counted the money that left, and yes we stupidly left it in the same place, and went out but when we came back £80 was missing. The only people in the house were my 2 girls and one of their boyfriends. I immediately called the daughter with her boyfriend round, out to the kitchen and calmly spoke to her and explained what had happened and asked her if she took the money, she said no so I asked her to take her boyfriend for a walk and speak to him and say if he did take the money then nothing else would happen as long as we got the money back. I also went and spoke to my other daughter and asked her if she had taken the money, she also said no (she is 19). So 3 days on no one has owed up to taking the money but we suspect it is the boyfriend. Our issue is that at the moment he knows that he is not allowed back in to our home and we have said that it is up to our daughter if she wants to carry on going out with him (she is 17), she is very upset by all this and has said she will finish with him if we asked her to, but how do we move on from this?. Do we let him back in later on and how do we act with him, we do actually like the boyfriend, obviously subject to strict conditions, any help would be appreciated thank you.
I was in similar shoes years ago.
Turned out to be dh.....
Why do you think it's the boyfriend over your daughters?
I think you need to talk to all 3 if you can, including the BF. Say that the money is missing and you know it has to be one of them. Until someone owns up the BF will no longer be welcome in the home. You are not accusing anyone, but it is a serious matter and you need to get to the bottom of it.
If it is the BF and you daughter knows then she will get him to own up
If it is daughter with the BF she will own up so that he can come back
If it is daughter without the BF who has done it , the daughter with the BF will be on her case to own up. I have a feeling that amongst the 3 they know who it is.
What do you think?
Talk to them all at the same time I mean.
So was the bf round the first time the money went missing?
You say they both had friends round but not if it was same bf as the second time
Hi thank you for all your comments, the bf was also around when the first lot of money went missing, this is why we are concerned that it might be him. I have talked to both daughters together and they both say it is not them and they also say that they don't think it is each other and as they really don't get on at the moment I was quite relieved to hear. Yes I can't be 100% it wasn't them and I did say that as long as the money was returned no questions would be asked and we wouldn't take it further (forgot to say it was actually my birthday money and they both knew this) but nothing has been returned. I feel a little uneasy talking to the bf without his parents there which is why I said to my daughter to talk to him. She is distraught over this and has even said that when she starts her new job she will give me some money from her job, but she also says she doesn't think it is her bf but can't come up with an alternative explanation as to how the money went missing. My parents think that I might never find out who took the money and I need to draw a line under it, but my husband doesn't agree and wants to pursue this until we know, it is making us all feel quite sad.
Unfortunately, I think your parents are right.
We had a some money go missing several years ago , and although I suspect one particular person , no one owned up so we dropped it. The sad thing is that I don't feel able to leave notes sitting under a paperweight on my desk anymore.
The problem is that once you've accused somebody you can't take it back. It's really tricky.
Thank you for that, can I just ask though did you let that person back into your home again.
Yes , unfortunately we thought it was one of the kids. They'd fallen in with a different crowd and we noticed changes in behaviour. It was really hard.