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Talk to me about long distance relationships?

(8 Posts)
KelpianCasserole Sat 01-Jun-19 16:06:51

DD off to uni soon, leaving her bf at home. Rooting for them to make it work but she's going a long way (think £40 each way on the train) and I'm wondering if realistically the relationship is likely to survive?

OP’s posts: |
bigchris Sat 01-Jun-19 16:08:00

Some do some don't, the majority don't in my experience, you sound a bit over invested!

YellowMellow15 Sat 01-Jun-19 16:21:44

I was long distance with my bf for a year (5 hours away) before I moved to uni that made it 6 hours away from each other. Did long distance for another 4 years. We are now getting married this year, A lot of people at my student flat were already dating before they came and i would say about 80% are still together. one of them actually dated a study abroad student (uk - usa) and they just celebrated 4 years.

It can work. its all about commitment and how much you want to make it work. You just have to leave them to it. (and £40 isnt that bad)

corythatwas Sat 01-Jun-19 18:53:58

As pp said, some do, some don't. Sometimes to do with long distance, perhaps more often to do with the fact that people change a lot at that age and may grow away from one another.

Dh and I survived a 10 yr long distance relationship which started when I was 19, in different countries, meeting twice a year and too hard up to afford phoning except on special occasions (a long time before the internet, this). But no doubt a lot of that was luck: we happened to be growing more suited for one another, not less.

Just don't invest too much in this, it is your dd's relationship, not yours, and you can't know what will be best for her in retrospect.

KelpianCasserole Sat 01-Jun-19 19:49:51

Absolutely, always trying to see into the future, bad habit. Thanks for all responses!!

OP’s posts: |
Herefortheduration Sat 01-Jun-19 20:13:07

My dd and her bf broke up after 6 months and she's only an hour away, although they're still good friends. Maybe they'll pick up after she's finished at uni, I would be happy either way, he's a lovely lad.

Farmmum7 Sat 01-Jun-19 20:25:53

My sister chose a closer uni to be closer to her BF (around an hour away) and it didn't last the first year

I was in a long distance relationship at 19 my BF was 3 hours drive away 4 hours by train he worked mon-friday and was away alot with work and I worked tues-sat so we rarely saw each other for the first 2 years...11 years later we're married with our third child on the way.

I think if it's going to last it'll last

BackforGood Sat 01-Jun-19 20:45:14

Some will, some won't.
Statistically, not that many people spend the rest of their lives with the person they are going out with at 18, wherever they live, but there will be loads of anecdotal tales for people to post on this thread.
People tend to grow and change a lot between 18 and 22, and more so if it is a time when they go to university, and live away from home.

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