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DD13 lying

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Mumonthegin Sun 26-May-19 20:01:19

Am quite worried about how much my DD13 lies. Both to me & DH and to her friends.
As far as I’m aware (possibly wishful thinking) it’s mostly about small stuff. I’m sure she’s been called out by her friends about it in the past, making up things she’s done or about the family. She’s the kind of girl who very much cares what people think of her so I understand some of this may be quite natural for this age and that she’s trying but to make herself sound good in front of friends.
I know she lies to us as well though, again mostly about random things, eg buying things and claiming someone has given it to her or asking friends round and saying that they’ve got nobody home, lost their keys etc and when they turn up this isn’t true.
I feel like lying is becoming so completely normal for her that she can’t stop and that if she’s lying about small random things, this is going to escalate and get to a point where it becomes a lot more serious.
I am getting to the point where I can’t trust her, and although I’m happy for her to go out and about on her own and with friends, I am worried she will start lying and sneaking around because it seems so normal to her.
Any time I’ve tried confronting her about it it’s turned in to an argument and her denying it.
In most other ways we have a good relationship, she is mostly well behaved, never had issues at school etc. But she is and always has been, very secretive, I can never get her to open up about friendships etc.
How can I encourage more honesty and get her to stop the lies?

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