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I'm new to MN (two weeks - word of mouth). None of my non-cyber mums of teenagers have heard of MN. Are we an elite few, and if so, why?

(23 Posts)
browniedropout Tue 17-Jul-07 20:16:16

I heard about MN through a weird route. I know that new mums are told about this site, but I just know so many mums with teenagers, who really need something like this. I don't wrk for MN, but have been so overwhelmed by the support, I wonder do you tell your friends with teenagers only, or are we keeping it, intentionally or otherwise, to ourselves?

ellasmum1 Tue 17-Jul-07 20:19:30

I have a 4yr old dd and don't mix with parents of teenagers much. I suppose there are colleagues at work- but we don't discuss parenting due to the age gap.

Agree its a great resource no matter how old your kids though! Should definately be advertised more.

BecauseImTheFatLady Tue 17-Jul-07 20:20:38

I think people assume that it's for mums with babies. When I told a friend of mine (who is also a MNetter) that I had joined she was really surprised and asked me why! She thought that because I had teenagers it wouldn't be for me.

3littlefrogs Tue 17-Jul-07 21:15:13

I have to say that I honestly feel that being a parent of teenagers is infinitely harder than any at other stage of development.

It can be a stressful and lonely business, and there really isn't a lot of support out there.

I have been through some tough times with my teenagers, which is why I always look on this section, because I know that feeling of desperation when you are at your wits end, and only another parent can understand; there is a lot of good advice and support here.

Tortington Tue 17-Jul-07 21:19:07

we are elite - but not so few! becuase some of the old brigade who had 7 year olds and a toddler or two when they joined 5 years ago are nearly here with us.

i like teenagers.

today my dd ran away - only i didn't notice - she came back - all within an hour.

3littlefrogs Tue 17-Jul-07 21:52:50

I like teenagers too - mine make me laugh and I am very proud of them. They have nice friends who always say please and thank you and offer to make me a cup of tea when I meet them unexpectedly in my kitchen in the morning

They eat me out of house and home.

But, my dss have both been mugged, robbed and beaten up more times than I care to count. There are drugs in every secondary school in the country, and while I know they have to be independant, anxiety goes with the territory.

I am lucky to live in a reasonable part of London, me and DH both work, and we don't have any real problems. How much harder it must be if you don't have enough money, or you don't have a supportive partner, or a decent place to live, or if there isn't a decent school for your kids to go to.

Tortington Tue 17-Jul-07 23:36:58

yes yes indeed. so true. i too am in awe of the loveleyness of the friends of my twins.

ellasmum1 Tue 17-Jul-07 23:49:13

See, that is a reason I find it hard to talk to parents of teenagers- They always remark -Oh I wish mine were 4 again, wait till shes a teenager! I am scared of "the teenage years", so am living in denial for now.
Hopefully will still be addicted to mumsnet by then anyway!

Tortington Tue 17-Jul-07 23:52:25

god no - i didn't like mine when they were small - i have fond ocasional memories but the time generally was a bit pants - but now its all quite good and they are really likeable people - i like them!

chenin Wed 18-Jul-07 07:37:20

Love having teens... I lurk more than post cos I think MN is more geared to littlies.. but I always read the teens thread because there is always something relevant to me.

I love nattering to my teens' friends.. they are such fun. I think it is a privilege to be on the sidelines at this stage of my DDs lives... they really do think they are going to change the world. Some optimism without cynicism.. wonderful! So for all of you out there dreading it... it is hard but it is wonderful too!

saggermakersknockturnalley Wed 18-Jul-07 07:51:28

I have teens. I like having them - I get to spend more time on here. [teen]

Generally I don't tell friends about MN though.

saggermakersknockturnalley Wed 18-Jul-07 07:52:11

lol [teen] FGS that was a !!

sugarfree Wed 18-Jul-07 08:01:26

I've only got one teen so far and it is the hardest stage,and I'm having it easy so far I believe!
I do some volunteering at Ds1's school and agree that teens are by and large a great group of people.Highly underrated.

ivykaty44 Thu 19-Jul-07 16:23:30


I am new as well and stumbled across this site by accident. I have one dd of 14 and my other dd is 8, teenage years are full of ups and downs and life seems to be a rollercoaster of emotions - life never seems to be stagnet but either one extrem or the other!

So far I think the ages of 12 - 14 has been the most challenging. What really sits at the back of my mind is when I get through this I will have to start all ove again with my younger dd....... Will it be the same, worse or easier?

chestnutty Fri 20-Jul-07 11:27:00

Don't tend to tell too many people about mn.
ITs a great place for advice and suggestions tho from which film to see, dealing with caterpillars to more serious concerns.

MotherFunkie Fri 20-Jul-07 12:03:06

I just joined today and have two older teenage girls (one of whom has a baby and another on the way, living with me) but was a bit fed-up to find that I can't add them to my profile because they were born before 1990!

There are loads of issues to cope with having older teenagers (e.g. college, uni, pregnancy, sibling rivalry, employment, moving out etc. etc. etc.). The worry and responsibility doesn't all stop as soon as they hit 16 (or even 19 - as I'm finding out!).

Its more scary in some ways because you are losing the ability to keep them safe, but at the same time I have found the teenage years a lot more fun and am so proud of them.

Anyway, I was recommended to MN by a friend who has a tiddler and have been lurking for some time...

themoon66 Fri 20-Jul-07 12:35:45

If DS gets decent GCSE grades next month it will be mostly down to advice from Mumsnet. And MN has saved me from many a nervous breakdown in the face of teenage unreasonableness.

nomdeplume Fri 20-Jul-07 12:37:22

I have teenagers and a little one. I don't tend to tell anyone in RL about MN, I think it makes me sounds a bit like a sad and lonely net freak with no life

browniedropout Fri 20-Jul-07 19:56:48

It does appear that the number of mums with teenagers is less. I can see many of the other areas are so busy i.e. Am I Being unreasonable, and a real dilemma would disappear off the bottom of the topics page very quickly. I sometimes can't get access for days when work, taxi service and teenage cyber necessities override. For now I think I'll just mention it to a few Mums. I've also found being a mum to a teenager entertaining but sometimes terrifying. Sisters and friends with grown up ex teenagers just aren't around when you need them but forntunately MN is.

Loshad Fri 20-Jul-07 22:26:10

I don't tend to mention it to rl frinds - partly as i've "said" plenty of things on here that would easily identify me and partly 'cos i don't want to be seen as an internet saddo.
certainly have found some teenage moments to be the most challenging bits of being a parent so far.

PurpleLostPrincess Mon 23-Jul-07 00:35:08

I found MN last year when I was searching for info on having a m/c. I'm now 31wks pg and spend loads of time on here. I've got 2 older children (DS is 13 and DD is 8) from a previous marriage so I've been scanning the teenage threads as well as the step-parenting threads etc.

I love this site!

Anybody who knows me in RL would spot me straight away from my name but that doesn't worry me. I do mention the site to other parents but they don't seem to know of it which is a shame. Only one of my friends comes on here but she lurks, I don't think she actually posts...

nappyaddict Mon 23-Jul-07 02:18:28

so how did you find out about us brownie?

browniedropout Tue 24-Jul-07 08:40:23

I've been elsewhere WOOTH and Mum's taxi service. I have looked at the acronym list - which helped me to read some posts. I was on a course: child care/information type thing and MN was recommended. I think it is a shame that mum's of teenagers are not aware of the site, as this stage can throw such horrendous curve balls at the family, and almost always it is Mum who has to work out an action plan. I always found the tough toddler stuff so much easier to cope with, when one of my friends or family had experience of the problem and could come up with strategies. I will tell a few friends but it's good to have somewhere to be able to chat without being known, otherwise it's not possible to be as open.

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