Hi,
I’m new here. Firstly, I don’t understand all the abbreviations that are used on here yet, so I won’t be using them lol.
So where do I start? I have a 17yr old son who has been a competitive swimmer since he was 12. He trains for up to 16hrs a week in the pool, plus going to the gym. He is fractions of seconds off achieving National competition qualifying times and has work so hard over the year to get to where he is today. But last night he broke down in tears and said that he doesn’t enjoy it like he used to and wants to quit. Im heart broken. As selfish as it sounds, I’ve put in as many hours as him, early morning training, late nights, hours of driving to and from competitions. Supporting him when he didn’t do as well as he’d hoped and celebrating with him when he did. I feel like a huge part of my life is being pulled out from beneath me. Basically my entire social life is based around his swimming (my friends are other swim parents as I’m with them 20hrs a week).
I know it’s his life, and his decision. But I also know that it could be the biggest regret of his life. I competed at a high level in Judo when I was his age and I quit over something stupid and it’s the biggest regret of my life. Plus I’ve seen friends of his leave swimming due to fear of missing out with friends outside of the pool but they ended up coming back, only to find that a couple of months out of training and their fitness levels have disappeared and they can no longer compete at the level they were at before so they leave again. He says he knows this and doesn’t feel he’s missing out on anything, he just wants to stop.
I guess I’m asking how I handle my emotions here, or if anyone has been through anything similar and can offer some words of advice on how I can either help him see that he’s giving up something that gives him direction and focus (he’s not really academic, swimming is where he excels). I worry he will have no direction if he stops and will end up regretting it.
Sorry for the long post, pretty sure it’s just my insecurities but any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
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Teenagers
17yr old son wants to quit what I thought was his passion
42 replies
Sleeper341 · 16/04/2019 10:42
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