If you have a seemingly ambitious high achiever teen in yr12

(14 Posts)
MedSchoolRat Mon 15-Apr-19 21:32:59

How much are they engaged in planning their future right now?

Coz DD (insists she'll study medicine) is impressing us with lack of engagement & enthusiasm about her proposed career. The only fantasy future DD talks about, revolves around her boyfriend. She admitted to being overwhelmed about what a medicine application requires, so I offered to look up when Open Days were. DD engaged enough to talk about which Unis to visit. I found & sent loads of course info, including ODs in date order to DD. She barely looked at the info (from what I can tell). She's ostriching rather than making plans to make decisions, collect info, get the application prepared.

Am I right to perceive that DD's lack of engagement is likely sign she's declared a plan that her heart doesn't really want? And if so, what do I do about it?

OP’s posts: |
cdtaylornats Mon 15-Apr-19 22:20:04

Have you a local young GP she could talk to about medicine

Citrina Tue 16-Apr-19 08:08:43

It HAS to be their decision. I was heavily encouraged to apply by my school and parents and only once the offers started coming in did I realise it wasn't really what I wanted. Cue a very unpleasant A-level year and a lot of tears because I kept being told not to be so silly, how lucky I was to have these opportunities ahead of me. I put my foot down in the end, reapplied (with my results in hand) for a completely different uni / different subject and went on my own terms a year later.
I was very unhappy that year off though, as I was made to feel a failure for not following the path I had planned.

BackInTime Tue 16-Apr-19 08:46:08

Maybe a year out after A levels to work, travel and to take a bit of breathing space before making such a big commitment.

Kilash Tue 16-Apr-19 21:07:21

That must be really tough. Unfortunately dc need to be really engaged if Medicine is what they want to do as the requirements can seem overwhelming. Is it worth supporting her to do some work shadowing or experience (she'll need this anyway) to hrlp her think about whether this is what she really wants?

FWIW my Y12 is very engaged with looking st courses, booking open ds7s but he is very sure about what he wants to do and where he wants to do it. Equally though he has friends who are overwhelmed and not yet able to think about what they want to do.

lovinglifexo Tue 16-Apr-19 21:12:54

I’m gonna sound slightly harsh but there are so many motivated and eager young people wanting to apply to medicine who DON’T get in.

Ur DC is showing she doesn’t really want to put the work in to embark on a career in medicine. And you shouldn’t really push her. Interviewers/Unis will smell it from a mile away.

Especially because she’s in year 12. By year 12, people who know what career they want are really eager and ready bc ur applying so soon. If she was in year 10 or 11, I’d encourage her.

but she’s not

TheFirstOHN Tue 16-Apr-19 21:32:57

From what you are describing, she seems like she might not be ready to apply to study medicine. A certain level of commitment and dedication is needed, and this would need to come from her. A year out might be wise, perhaps with some paid or voluntary work in a healthcare role.


TheFirstOHN Tue 16-Apr-19 21:42:34

DS1 (not ambitious or high achieving) was also doing an ostrich impression at this stage of Y12. He did work out what he wanted to do by the late autumn of Y13, which was to studying History at a mid-ranking university, so it was not too late for him to make it happen.

DS2 (Y12, ambitious, high-achieving) is the opposite. He knows what he wants to do (a competitive course at a high-ranking university) and he has been working towards that aspiration since before Y12 started. He requested prospectuses and booked open days last year and this year. He does extra reading around the subject and finds and attends lectures that are open to the public.

I suspect that for an application to study medicine, her approach would need to be closer to DS2's than DS1's. Which may well happen, with time.

JustDanceAddict Wed 17-Apr-19 14:03:03

The two Yr12s I know who want to study medicine are already getting work experience and are motivated.
My DD - also yr 12 - is high achieving and she has decided herself on what she wants to study - also science related. However, she has no idea of practicalities of us taking her to numerous open days(!), etc. And although she’s currently straight As she’s not that motivated this holiday.
I’m glad she’s not interested in medicine as although she’s academically able enough she wouldn’t be motivated enough. I think it’s a career you have to be totally dedicated to.

changingeverything2019 Wed 17-Apr-19 14:55:33

My Yr12 wants to study medicine. He is very focused and most of the below-mentioned are his own efforts:
Chatted at length to current medical students,
Seriously pursued his sport; qualified as a coach in it, volunteers at sporting events, named captain of his club, competed at local, county and national level,
Volunteers at a care home, Become a first aider,
Become a lifeguard,
Reads as many medical related books/magazines/articles as he can,
Practices BMAT/UKCat questions, Watches medical videos on YouTube,
Attended a medics seminar at university for Yr 12s,
Attends a weekly meeting at school for pupils wishing to study medicine etc,
DofE Bronze and Silver,
In the coming months he will be completing his DofE Gold,
Shadowing a GP,
Hopefully become a member of MENSA.
I'm full of admiration but have not pressured him to do any of this.

Loopytiles Wed 17-Apr-19 14:59:41

There are lots of other good science options. Medicine doesn’t seem like a good option anymore IMO!

changingeverything2019 Wed 17-Apr-19 15:12:23

I tend to agree with you Loopy.
I do worry about how hard it will be. However he is a grafter and very bright.
He is looking at other options but this is still his first choice.
He has relatives who are medics and a few friends studying medicine atm, so he's under no illusions.

MedSchoolRat Wed 17-Apr-19 19:48:08

I have been reading replies. Cheers.
At least I don't think I'm going mad to think DD is not very motivated.

OP’s posts: |
hosnav Sat 27-Apr-19 09:03:17

I have an unusual problem. My 14 year old son basically spends his whole life studying. This started in the August of Year 9. He has always had quite an obsessive personality but is also just like a regular kid in most ways - always been sociable and makes friends easily and likes to have a good laugh with peers. He read an article written by a kid who got full marks in IB who wrote that he'd taught himself the curriculum in advance and just used lessons to revise what he already knew, and that seemed to trigger him. The only reason I suppose I am worried is it just seems like such unusual behaviour. He tells me he is just enjoying himself and that the things he used to do (like going to the movies with friends etc.) bore him now. He even studies for most of Saturday and Sunday, as well as weekdays. He is in the final term of Y9 so got two yrs of IGCSE ahead of him, so I am also worried that school is going to be frustrating for him if he gets much more ahead. None of his peers are like this and none of his family members are highly academic. Can anyone reassure me that I needed worry about him too much? Or does anyone have any advise.

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