Trouble with my daughter

(4 Posts)
Em4891 Fri 12-Apr-19 13:31:29

Please any help and friendly advice anyone could offer I would be so grateful.
In a nutshell my dd who is 12 has been self harming for several months .
First time I took her to hospital she told Camhs she was doing it due to her strained relationship with her dad .
She’s self harmed since too and most recent threatened to slash her wrists to her friend but , then a week later was ok with the situation that had made her feel that way originally.

Due to all of this I have had to open communication with her abusive father who I had to deal with for 5 years being abused mentally and physically and since this has happened it has now resurfaced 10 years later .
The threats , the belittling, the verbal abuse .
It’s literally destroyed me to still have to endure this.
Since mid last year once my dd decided to live with us all the time the violence has now got worse . Involving police and my ex grabbing our daughter .
To make matters more painful and after my ex husband has made a reappearance in her life she has decided to go and live with her dad for a few weeks .
I believe she has been manipulated by her father as he wouldn’t let me even ask her why .
Only to be told she had told her father a lot lies about us and how I am pathetic.
To say I am hurt would be an understatement but , I had to let her go as that is how she felt .

Should I just give her the space she needs ?

OP’s posts: |
kamikazeshady Fri 12-Apr-19 14:11:45

Quick question, are social services involved? If not, then I think they should be on the account of domestic abuse. She is at risk.

Em4891 Fri 12-Apr-19 14:23:24

No they are not due to not wanting to get involved.
They know about everything but , have only told me to go back to court

OP’s posts: |
kamikazeshady Fri 12-Apr-19 14:28:37

@Em4891 that is terrible! I'm so so surprised they didn't get involved. (That's not me saying you've done anything wrong btw)

By the sounds of it, your daughter needs to be safeguarded.

I was her age when I started self harming. My stepfather was abusive and it has stayed with me to this day. He would manipulate me when him and my mother split. I took his side. Now I'm older, I wish more than anything to social services had intervened. I was let down by the system.

If you do go via courts, they will take her wishes into consideration due to her age. But if she has signs of MH health issues, then CAMHS need to be involved really. However I understand from experience that depending on where you live will depend on how good those MH services are.

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