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Ds and socialising

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comebacksun Wed 03-Apr-19 21:19:01

Hi, ds- 15 was diagnosed with asd (Aspergers) last year and is getting support from school so everything is fine on that front. He is a gamer so plays with his friends online and goes out with them some weekends. He enjoys going out with his friends which I'm really pleased about.

The problem is when there's a family gathering or a lunch with our friends. He basically refuses to come out with us if anyone else is going to be there, and if anyone comes to our house, he refuses to come out of his room even to say hello (which I've said is all he has to do).

I do understand that anyone who is not his friend he finds totally boring, he hates small talk and hates even more to be asked how school is (which everyone seems to do! - understandably!)

So my question is, should I force him to be sociable with family and family friends? Is so, how?! And if not, what should I tell them? I feel very judged as a parent sometimes ( my son seems very bad mannered) and when I explain that he feels uncomfortable or anxious, I don't think they believe me.

My feeling is that he's going to find himself in social situations as an adult so he should learn how to behave in them, but I also feel that he should be allowed to be himself, no matter how judged or embarrassed I am by his perceived rudeness. ( the rudeness is not coming to say hello or if he does he just gives a couple of mumbled replies)

Thank you in advance for any advice.

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