16 yo DD is constantly lying to me

(8 Posts)
becks57 Tue 12-Mar-19 22:20:53

What can I do? My 16 yo is constantly lying to me. And omits certain informationand then says ‘well you didn’t ask me’ I confiscate her phone and she just shrugs her shoulders and says ‘ I don’t care’ she used to be so lovely, it’s really upsetting me

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MellowMelly Tue 12-Mar-19 22:42:16

What sort of things is she lying about?

Apart from the constant lying I think it’s normal behaviour? I have to really question my daughter to extract all relevant information about college or going out with a friend. She just ‘forgets’ stuff.
Also they do have a more flippant attitude at this age. They don’t care about anything much, they’ve mastered the poker face and the ‘couldn’t care less’ shrugs.
I don’t let it bother me really. My tactics with my daughter are jokes, sarcasm and ‘banter’ as she calls it. It’s sad to see the nice little person we raised turn into these teenage miseries. It’s just a phase though (hopefully)!

becks57 Tue 12-Mar-19 22:48:31

She went to a party on Saturday and lied about there being drink there. I’ve told her I don’t mind but there’s ground rules. She bare faced lied and said she hadnt drunk but was photographed with a bottle of beer. Then didn’t give me to telephone number of the girls mum she was staying at and then went to London the next day. Didn’t keep in contact with me, and got home at 6.30 Sunday night. She was rude and miserable with me.
She always used to send me photos and doesn’t anymore. I feel she’s covering things up. And she’s started to be unkind to her brother and she used to be so lovely to him

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MellowMelly Tue 12-Mar-19 23:18:59

Unfortunately it sounds much like me at 16 years old. Rest assured my Mum and I have a wonderful relationship now.

Is there anything else going on in her life that could be making her act up?
If not she sort of just sounds like a typical teenager pushing her boundaries sadly!

BlackPrism Wed 13-Mar-19 00:20:16

Sounds like a normal 16 yo pushing boundaries

snitzelvoncrumb Wed 13-Mar-19 00:25:41

It sounds like a severe case of being a teenager. Just set rules, and enforce consequences. Most importantly drink wine (you not your daughter). She will become lovely again in a few years. You could make her punishment housework, so you have more time to drink said wine.

BackinTimeforBeer Wed 13-Mar-19 07:49:50

Sounds normal - she will grow out of it. I expect alcohol to be at parties and I assume dd will have a few sips wink because that is what they do and when they have too much I know she will call be to haul her out of trouble.
I don't accept rude though - I'm not rude to her, it's a two way thing - rudeness does not get rewarded - I withdraw my co-operation with her plans and she knows how much she needs us. I never confiscate her phone though - it belongs to her - I know I'm unusual in this respect but there is no need - we continually give her lots of things she likes including an allowance, lifts etc


becks57 Wed 13-Mar-19 21:30:51

I don’t care if she’s had a drink as I expect her to, it’s just the constant lying. She’s got her GCSE’s this year and works super hard with revision. I just wish she’d talk to me really. Thankyou all... I know I was so much worse than how she is now

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