Daughter will not leave her room

[MrsPinkCup]

My daughter is almost 18 and will not get out of bed the last time she spent any significant time out of her room was Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

She has been referred to CAMHS since she was about 14 but will not interact with them or any other agencies if she does sit in the room with them she hides her face.

If I force her out of bed or she goes outside she has an anxiety attack and lashes out or bolts.

I don't know what to do the last time I took her to the GP she sat in the car park and refused to move then when we eventually got her in the GP gave me some leaflets-that was it.

I'm terrified she's going to end up in a psychiatric ward. She's just sad or angry all
the time and I don't know how to help her.

Please someone just tell
Me what to do because I'm losing the plot and I'm waiting for a GP to ring me back again.

[Punxsutawney]

Does she have any kind of diagnosis? My Ds is 14 and is currently being assessed for asd. He feels the most safe and comfortable in his room. He is struggling with the assessments and has started to shut himself off from the world. Although he will attend school. He doesn't really want to engage with the help that is available to him and I can understand how frustrating that is. I could see us ending up in the same situation as you in the future if there is no support.

She must be feeling really unhappy and isolated especially as this has been going on since she was 14. Sorry I'm not a lot of help but I hope you can start to get some support in place soon that she is willing to engage with.

[MrsPinkCup]

A doctor once mentioned ADD but because she point blank refused to engage they can't do much.
I feel so sorry for her but get very frustrated aswell and she messages me saying she's not getting better but won't get help.
Sorry you are going through a similar thing.

[Punxsutawney]

What a difficult situation for you. I wonder if she did have diagnosis that it would help her at all. Sounds like her anxiety is so high now that she just can't function in her day to day life. I have tried to explain to my son that the assessment process will hopefully help him understand himself better although he's still not keen on engaging with any of it!

I hope that the gp has some ideas that may help. I wish I had some better advice. Hopefully another poster might be able to help more with the mental health side of things.

[MsOtisRegrets]

Does she keep contact with friends on social media? I also wondered when she stopped going to school/college? Was it at that point she started staying in her room? Also how was she on Christmas eve/Christmas day? - what brought her out of the bedroom to spend time with the family? Sorry, a lot of questions.

[MrsPinkCup]

Sorry have been at work.
She has one friend who she talks to on social media but won't go out to see her.
She stopped attending in y10 and then went to nurture type place for a while.
She has a place at a college which specialises in teens with anxiety and who have been bullied but she went once and refused to stay.

Christmas Eve - I argued with her and she wouldn't get up but her sister who is a year younger spoke to her and helped her get ready and she had a good day.
Christmas Day - she was happy and fine until about 4 and went to bed then Boxing Day she refused to come with us to my mums.

The GP rang back and said he is going to write to her inviting her to go and see him and he said he can recommend some places for her to get help.

Sorry if it's a bit rambling.

[MrsPinkCup]

She also says she wants to come off social media but when I say I will help her deactivate her accounts she changes her mind. 🤯

[ShabbyAbby]

I don't think a stay on a psychiatric ward would be the worst plan
It might mean she gets a proper diagnosis, medication and some 1:1 work with a CPN and/or psychologist
Plus a break from social media
Sounds like you've tried everything else tbh

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I'm sorry MrsPink I don't think that a stay in a ward would be the worst that can happen. Like Shabby says she should receive the help she needs. I'd never been in one until last year when my DM's BF was admitted and honestly, it was the best thing that could have happened to her. She's gone from being on a very long decline to functioning again and even enjoying doing things again. She was in for about 8 weeks and received support at home after.

Can you talk to her? Does she know that if she refuses to engage with the GP you're worried that she'll end up being sectioned?

[Lmagic]

Can your GP visit her at home? He or she needs to do some assessments I think or admit her to a place that can help her needs. Poor thing she sounds like she needs a lot of help. I hope you get that very soon. Xx