Fpound porn on dd1 14yrs mobile-any advise appreciated

[fakeblonde]

You might be thinking what was i doing looking in the first place.
well dd2 age 11 told me her sis had shown her some disgusting pics on her mobile.
I took the phone and found 2 very explicit sex scenes.
One was a full on clip of a couple having anal sex,so this isnt innocent stuff. <br /> Anyway the first punishment is already underway. <br /> She cant find her phone which i have hidden. <br /> dd is looking rather pale and sh*t scared incase i find her phone. <br /> It has given me time to think of the best way to deal with this without going into flip mode. <br /> Hopefully its given her time to get very scared and think about it too. <br /> Her sister said someone sent it to her . <br /> The thing is my dd1 is one of life genuine VERY immature girls.I dont think shes an angel or anything but she still plays with dolls at the weekend fgs.
I am really cross at whoever sent it and more cross that she showed her sister.
I am also open minded but am i right to be very irritated and dissapointed ?
She will be home in a few hours and i want to handle this well.So far its the worst thing she has ever done because she really is a lovely girl-never been in trouble,no boyfriends and studies well ect.Nice friends (i thought ) .Thanks in advance.x

[NotQuiteCockney]

Hmmm, I would be more annoyed about the fact she showed her sister. Some curiousity about this sort of thing is inevitable. I'd be and to find that sort of thing, too (I think? My two are very young still).

I'd probably sit her down and have a Big Talk about it all, I guess.

[fakeblonde]

Oh gosh i hate this sort of thing-my mum is better at it than i am and shes not here ! <br /> Looks like ill be having a long talk tonight but i am also going to froghten her too cos i think she should realise how degrading it is and how wrong it was to show her sister.Should i find out who sent it her and phone the school ?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Is it likely to be a school friend? I would let their parents know, I think.

[Nbg]

Blimey.

If it was me I think I'd be cross that she showed it to her sister and upset that someone sent it to her.

A good chat is in order.

[mumblechum]

I think I'd just delete it now, then explain when she gets in that it's not really appropriate, and even if she was sent it unexpectedly, she should have deleted it and certainly not shown her sister.

Be careful, though, there was a similar thread a few weeks ago where the mum went ballistic and it sounded pretty unpleasant.

Also, obviously, explain why porn is maybe ok in certain circs when she's older, but she's just far too young to be looking at stuff like that.

I'm sure she'll be mortified, so I personally would tread quite lightly. I certainly wouldn't be phoning the school. Can you text back the person who sent it to her and say if they do it again you'll report it to their parents/the school?

[lilolilmanchester]

Had similar experience when found my DS (14) had been looking at porn on the internet. Was initially horrified and disgusted, tho could kind of see why it might be interesting to a pubscent teenager. I spoke to him, calmly but firmly. Made the point that some porn is actually illegal (not the stuff he was looking at, fortunately, but didn't tell him that). Also that his younger sister could have walked in while he was looking at it. Went through the stuff about it being degrading to women etc.
I know you aren't happy about it,understandably, and I do think you need to talk to her about it, but after talking to several friends, they'd all had similar experiences with otherwise decent kids. So be firm etc but don't hold it against her and try not to be too upset about it for too long.

[potoftea]

Had something similar a few years ago when dd was about 12. Just some "rude" pictures really, but I was horrifed when her friend's dad told me he'd found these pictures on his son's phone and they'd come from my dd.

I talked to her, and it turned out that they were all passing on these jokes and stuff to each other. I demanded she delete stuff like this, and then told any other parents I knew that this was going on. Pretty soon they'd all put a stop to it.

Also also warned her that I would be doing spot-checks on her phone for the next while. This frightened her into behaving anyway.