My dd and her boyfriend.

[weegiemum]

My dd1 has just turned 19. She is at uni, living in a flat and has a job in a trendy bar.

She had a boyfriend for the last year at school but they split up at Christmas.

She's recently taken up with a new bloke from work. She was 19 last week and he's 26 next week. I know she's an adult and it's not up to me any more but I just can't quite make myself happy about that. He's working in her bar because he dropped out of uni and hasn't done anything much since. It's Art school (I was ridiculously pleased that she got a place at the renowned Glasgow School of Art) but the boy and work seems more important to her now than uni and work.

She's a big girl and it's up to her. But I still feel that she might be letting herself down and her priorities might not be in the right place.

[FlagFish]

It's natural to feel this way and I'd feel the same. However, as you've identified, there's not a lot you can do except trust that your DD is a sensible young women who will (eventually) make the right decisions.

Are you supporting her financially? If so, you can make it clear that your support is, to some extent, contingent on reasonable uni results. I wouldn't mention the boyfriend though. That will probably make her feel defensive and misunderstood.

[weegiemum]

We'd already thought about our support. We've decided (and told her) that if she moves in with the boyfriend (who currently shares a flat with his brother) we won't give her any more support - act like an adult, live like an adult!