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Why won't my DD send an I got it thank you text

(14 Posts)
disneyspendingmoney Sat 19-Jan-19 11:56:12

Do my DD won a little prize £30 Primark gift card,the note with the card said text me to let me know you've got it.

She asked if I could do it, I said no it's addressed to you they want to make sure you got it.

She had a total meltdown over it.

She can't say what she won't do it other than I don't want to.

all it is us key in the phone number and type, "thanks got it".

I ended up doing all that at least I got her to press send.

Can anyone explain what this fear is all about? So I know for next time

OP’s posts: |
CandleConcerto Sat 19-Jan-19 11:58:25

Has she had it drilled into her the dangers of texting strangers? Maybe she’s hugely averse and she’s generalised the rules on phone safety?

Cauliflowersqueeze Sat 19-Jan-19 11:59:00

Has she got SEN? Or is she under 5 and not sure what to do?

If she’s neither of these it sounds like she’s being lazy and would prefer someone else to do it (which she managed to do, having had a tantrum first)

Grapetree Sat 19-Jan-19 12:02:58

How old is she?
When I was a teen I despised having to call up people on the phone in a formal context e.g. to book appointments or calling my bank, mainly due to anxiety and not knowing exactly what to say

Seems a little strange to react like this when sending a text...
When having to send formal emails as a teen I would get slightly nervous and reread my message 10 times over though, but it was no where near as bad as having to talk on the phone

explodingkitten Sat 19-Jan-19 12:03:29

Next time take the gift away till she says thank you. Provided she isn't a toddler anymore that is.

disneyspendingmoney Sat 19-Jan-19 12:05:54

she's 13. She can send reams of stuff to people when she wants to.
I was wondering if it was because I asked her to do what was in the note.

OP’s posts: |
Cauliflowersqueeze Sat 19-Jan-19 12:07:12

Well then next time do what explodingkitten says.

BrokenWing Sat 19-Jan-19 15:01:01

Ds(14) was like this at 10. I did it the first time, help him word it the second time, his world didn't implode, so he was ok doing it himself any other time. Still no idea why it was such a big deal 🤷🏻‍♀️

llangennith Sat 19-Jan-19 15:11:21

I suspect her initial reaction of 'No!' stemmed from anxiety then she couldn't back down. Don't worry about it. It's done now.

Ribbonsonabox Sat 19-Jan-19 15:15:32

I still get like this sometimes as an adult when my husband says can you answer the phone or can you ring the plumber! I have anxiety problems. I think being a teenager makes anxiety loads worse because of the emotional disregulation that you go thru at that age. I imagine she just got randomly very anxious about communicating to someone she did not know. Wont have been a rational thing. She will probably grow out of it as she becomes less self conscious as she gets older.

lljkk Sun 20-Jan-19 20:13:08

They think it's embarrassing, not the done thing, trés uncool, puts them in vulnerable position, "obvious I got it" so not needed (they mean they'll look like a fool for being so obvious as to say they got it).. I don't get it, either. But embarrassment potential is what they are terrified of, anyway.

Loftyswops988 Mon 21-Jan-19 16:37:15

this is an anxiety thing - I was also like this at that age. I still have major anxiety over certain things but now I would be jumping to send thank you texts etc, i got to the point where i realised if i put things in to action quickly i wouldn't have time to get anxious over them

3catsandcounting Fri 25-Jan-19 19:22:19

My DD was just like this at 13, and I agree it's anxiety-related.

We were once running late for a orthodontist appointment and I said "just jump out at the traffic lights, and I'll find a space and meet you inside". She flatly refused. No explanation why. She'd been to this practice numerous times. She became quite distressed.

I asked her to text a couple of my friends to thank them for birthday presents, and got the same reaction.

Partly anxiety, partly teen obstinance I guess.
She grew out of it, and is now 21 and very little fazes her.

TigerQuoll Fri 25-Jan-19 22:44:56

Agree about anxiety, as a child and young teenager I was petrified of speaking on the phone, I think mainly because I am partially deaf and if I can't see their face I might misunderstand what they say and end up embarrassed. He might have been frightened he might mistype the number and some random person will be wondering what he got and why he is messaging them.

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