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15 year old not been to school for 2 months (Ireland)(4 Posts)
My half brother lives in Ireland with my Dad and his Mum. He has totally disengaged from school the last few years (and I can see how what he is being taught must seem archaic to him as it is a particularly old fashioned school). A couple of months ago, he blacked out at home for 5 mins and was too scared to go to school. Then he refused to go back as he said 'it is a waste of time'. He is now poorly again but basically just refusing to go, saying that they'll never notice. He is having medical tests as a precaution but I feel it's down to blood sugar - he sits in his room all day and night on the computer till 4/5am, eats really badly and is overweight.
My Dad and his Mum shout a lot, there's a lot of noise, but they never take action, let alone consistently. They have no control over him and never have had. This stems right back to the beginning where he had no boundaries or routine with my Dad's response to him e.g. staying up with 18+ stuff on TV when he was only 6/7 'you know what he's like, he doesn't want to go to bed and he likes this show' !!!! There is literally no telling my Dad anything so I have tried to give advice and support for my brother without having a total fall out with his parents. My brother and I were very close when he was young and we still get on well when he emerges from being teenage from time to time! His behaviour is totally different with me than them, but I am a lot
more normal stricter but also spend time actually with him doing stuff which they don't).
Apologies for rambling but I am going over for Christmas and I am at my wits end. I know they will all rant about it and expect me to wave a magic wand and fix it all. I am also deeply worried about a) my brother's future and b) his mental health locked in his room. I'm tempted to bring him back to London with me!
P.S. Thankfully I always lived with my Mum!
P.s. I should point out I am in my 40s and my Dad turns 70 next year. A late life surprise!!
Well I can see why you're worried - it's a worrying situation and they sound (sorry) like lazy crap parents.
If they try ranting at you, tell them to can it and start parenting but I doubt they will. Think very carefully about bringing your db to your home. It might do wonders for him but only if he wants to change.
Do you have your own kids? Could you have him live with you for the next few years?
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