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Helping my teenage daughter to make friends at school

(3 Posts)
CornwallMum107 Thu 13-Dec-18 13:38:18

DD is 14 years old and at boarding school. She's always been quiet but has always made friends. She's been at senior school for just over a year but has been struggling to feel part of it all. She loves the school and everything about it, even her fellow pupils, so is adamant she doesn't want to change schools. She just says she feels like she doesn't quite fit and that she's got herself into such a vicious circle that its becoming a bit of a blocker trying to fit in. She's very clear she's not being bullied etc but just wants to "make it work for me" (her words). She's asked if she can see "someone" to help her break her negative feelings as she feels strongly that this is the problem. Can anyone recommend someone/organisation to help her? We have had long conversations about it all and the school is working hard to try and help her (introduced to the school counsellor etc) but she has identified that its something in her that's making it difficult rather than the environment as such. She would like to be able to work through things to break the vicious cycle she's got herself into. We're very proud of her being so mature about asking for help and want to try and give her every support we can. I have always encouraged our children to open up about emotional and mental issues and not to feel ashamed about it so feel its really important we explore all our external options with her. Can anyone recommend an organisation/individual who might be able to help her? Thanks

pippistrelle Thu 13-Dec-18 13:51:54

I have to say I'm reading this and thinking that it doesn't quite add up. I find it hard to believe that she loves the school, everything about it and her peers without feeling that she fits in. But, clearly, something's troubling her and she want someone to talk to about it..

14 year olds can be strange, secretive people struggling to find their place in the world, or just struggling to work out who they are. They don't necessarily wish to share the details with their parents.

In your place, I think I'd be looking for a counsellor with expertise in helping young people.

The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy website has a directory which might make a useful starting point.

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 13-Dec-18 19:59:27

Every thing that Pippistrelle says.

I thought the book untangled might help too smile

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