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School refusal in year 11

(7 Posts)
Tobbay Wed 05-Dec-18 08:11:07

I really need some advice.
My 15yr old Son has been to school since year 11 began so since September. He was bullied over the summer and mugged and in a nutshell hasnt left the house unless with me in the car for months... he only has one friend who comes over... the rest of his friendships have broken down because he doesn't see anyone and he will not go to school. He is now extremely anxious about going back although he really wants but already is being treated for depression, anxiety and ADHD so his anxiety and self consciousness is through the roof.
He has put on 3 st in weight and has fallen so behind in his most important year in school. If he doesn't get this week, he will not be allowed to take his gcses.

Has anyone else gone through this?
How did you reintegrate them?
Or did you not do that and let them stay home?
I know he can do his gcses at college but it's also the social aspect... he's miss g out on parties and the prom next year... his one and only friend is in year 9 so not really appropriate for him.

I'm just so worried and any advice would be great.

Blessthekids Wed 05-Dec-18 23:39:19

OP flowers

I am really sorry you and your ds are going through this. I don't think this is something you can fix quickly and you may have to think about delaying his GCSEs until next year. You say he is getting help, can you speak to his counsellor and get some advice on what you can do to support him. Work on building his confidence by doing something outside of the home on a regular basis, maybe a sport or martial arts? And maybe negotiate with the school about allowing him to go one day or half a day and build it up from there or concentrate on just a few of his GCSE classes?

Good luck to both of you

caringdad66 Tue 11-Dec-18 23:13:34

Only maths and English can be done after year 11.
Any other GCSEs have to be paid for.
Or am I wrong?

141mum Wed 12-Dec-18 19:22:51

Hi, going through same thing, BUT, if a child has been off and has a sick note for 15 days continus,local authority HAS to provide provision for student, which if you push, is 10 hours a week home schooling, do not be bullied, stand your ground, demand the help he deserves
Have you asked for the main subjects to be sent home for him
If it’s too much to do all, concentrate on maths, English and science.
Feel your pain though, it’s soooooo hard for all of you XX
Let me know how you get on

Tobbay Wed 12-Dec-18 19:34:20

Thank you..

I didn't know they have to provide that so I will look in to it..

Trying an hour in school tomorrow but I'm not holding my breath

Zebrasmummy Wed 12-Dec-18 20:21:55

Your local education department may offer some kind of temporary health needs placement. In out area the school makes the referral and it needs to be supported by health professional. That'll keep him a bit more up to date academically and hopefully they'll be good at working with health to support and facilitate a reintegration package. Good luck.

141mum Wed 12-Dec-18 22:49:07

Good luck. It’s so hard. I really worry about the social side as well, but she just turned 16 so looking for a sat job, also has college interview coming up, but hard seeing her on a daily basis without friends when she is social person.
Let me know how it all goes. Fingers x

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