Hi, I'm 16, a girl and gay.
I haven't come out to anyone... Especially none of the girls in my year or friendship group.
I just need to get these thoughts somewhat off my chest, maybe some of the things i think about when I think of coming out might help someone to understand why coming out is still a hard process even though it's 2018.
These are some of the things i think about:
-What if they think I'm trying to flirt with them?
-What if they think I look at them in a "weird way?
-What if they think i looked at them when we had to get changed for PE?
-What if they think i looked at them during sleep-overs?
-What if they think i look at them when they get changed in front of me because they don't think I'm gay and they just assume that I'm straight?
-What if they feel uncomfortable?
-Will they think i'm normal?
-Will i still have friends?
-What school can I move to if everything goes badly?
-Which school has no connection to any of my friends
-Will they find out before I'm ready to tell them?
-What if they tell their parents, who will tell my parents?
-Where can i go to live if i get kicked out?
-How will my teachers treat me if they find out?
-Will i get sent to conversion therapy? (idk if this is still legal in England, but it's a possibility)
-Will i still be invited to friends houses?
-Will i still have a family?
-Will i still be loved?
These are just a few of the main questions.
I'd also like to answer some of these questions, just incase there are any girls (and boys) reading this that have a gay/bi/pan/queer/questioning friends that have come out:
No, i have not ever looked at you whilst you were changing, I purposefully divert my eyes or leave the room whilst you are doing so. I used to go into the changing room toilets to get changed and wait there till i was certain that all of the girls were changed in hopes that when you find out I'm not straight you won't be creeped out by me.
I'm not a cishet boy, I don't look at girls the same way as those sort of boys who are only interested in 'boobs and butts' I would never talk about a girl the way some boys do, I find it quite disgusting.
To put it in short: Although I am attracted to the same sex, it does not mean i'm attracted to you, I don't look at you 'weirdly' and I would certainly never want to make you feel uncomfortable. My only intention is to let you know who I am and I hope that one day I feel as if i can be me, rather than pretend to be someone I'm not.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Thank you.
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Being closeted at secondary school (6th form)
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yes17 · 11/11/2018 21:08
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