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13/14 year olds at parties

(8 Posts)
anonymousbird Tue 06-Nov-18 12:58:50

DS is now starting to go to "parties" which aren't necessarily birthday parties, if you get my drift. I am ok with this - good for him to have a social life and so on.

However, and this is a serious question (!) as he's our eldest, I am not really sure what happens at such a party - is it music/food/chat? I realise they are at an age where they start to be interested in the opposite sex and so on but am grateful for any insights as to what these parties are like. He went to one last week which did have some girls at it as well and he said they just hung out in the garden. The state of his trainers and clothes would suggest that this was indeed the case!

However, as with many of this age, it's ney on impossible to get any more details out of him, he doesn't see it as relevant. I am just interested as although he is growing up, his well being and the suitability of such gatherings is my concern as well.

TIA for any tips!

OP’s posts: |
ihatedrugs Tue 06-Nov-18 17:28:27

Have you read my thread about dd14 and drugs in her room?

Hopefully you won't encounter such problems!!

WhatALearningCurve Tue 06-Nov-18 17:52:31

What a way to incite fear there @ihatedrugs

At 14 I was going to the local retail park car park with the majority of my school year and the year above, sending the oldest looking boy i into Asda and getting drunk off cheap alcopops, however I've never touched drugs. I was also never in fights, never wanted to be disruptive and would be suitably embarrassed if anyone called me out on this behaviour, i was just hanging out with my friends doing what they were all doing. (It just happened to be in a location that I would judge kids for nowadays and completely forget my misspent youth!)

On the flip side - my nephew is 14 and doesn't drink, I know some of his friends do but he has no interest in it. He'd much rather be in his room playing Playstation or at rugby training. When they go to parties he's the one walking everyone home and is quite open with my sister about who's drank etc as he knows it's the safest thing to do and she isn't going to get angry about it.

I think if you're worried about what he's doing, you need to think back to when you were 14 and what you were doing, not to necessarily allow him to get away with the same things - but to think about the mind set he'll be in and what approach you'd have accepted from your parents when they were asking the questions you want the answers to.

ihatedrugs Tue 06-Nov-18 18:04:55

Oh please learningcurve.

I'm not inciting fear at all. The op knows her own dc and can take from my thread what she wants.

I'm sure she wouldn't be best pleased to think of him getting pissed in a car park either!

RagingWhoreBag Tue 06-Nov-18 18:11:14

It depends so much on the child.

Myself and a friend have DCs the same age, just turned 14. My DC’s party was fun, lots of laughing and gaming, ended with the kids doing crafts and watching kid TV giggling about how crap it was. I left them to their own devices and that’s what they ended up doing. Ate Dominos and drank fizzy.

DFriend ended up calling the parents to come and take them home as they’d all gone down the shop to try and buy booze and a couple of the girls ended up going AWOL with some 17 year old boys. It later transpired that the girls had done exactly what you’d expect them to with 17 year old boys sad

I know at that age I was more like my DC, but some of my friends came to my 14th party expecting a drink fuelled riot and ended up unexpectedly enjoying some board games grin. Guess we’re just a bit uncool.

mrsm43s Tue 06-Nov-18 18:12:17

My Yr 9 DD (so 13-14 years old) had a party last week.

Boys and girls.

They, danced, drank pop, shyly talked to the opposite sex, giggled,ate crisps and sweets and played truth or dare (which mainly involved Truth - "who do you fancy/think is the best looking" and Dare "kiss xxx on the cheek".or "ask out the person you think is best looking") It's all about boys and girls hanging out together at this age, but if they're good kids, then pretty harmless.

Certainly no drugs/alcohol/sex (or even snogging) within my DCs group yet, although they are beginning to have "boyfriends" and "girlfriends", but the relationships are considered long term if they last more than a week or two!

ihatedrugs Tue 06-Nov-18 18:14:13

Exactly. My friends dd (14) had a mate round on Friday night to look through her Strictly annuals and practice some ballroom moves!

Meanwhile, we were having a party...

It depends on yr child.

anonymousbird Thu 08-Nov-18 08:12:44

Thanks all - I am talking about parties at a child's house, parents present so mrsm43s - I think that's the kind of thing I expect might be going on - mixed party. And we are in touch with the parents.

ihatedrugs - I have now seen your thread, thanks.

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