Teenage daughter and money

(14 Posts)
Donegal11 Tue 09-Oct-18 13:21:10

Hi looking for advice and opinions as to whether or not I’m being unreasonable. My 15 year old daughter gets £40 a month paid to her bank account and on top of this she gets £20 a week in term time for school lunch. Despite all of this she never has any money, if she’s making plans with friends like cinema, meals out etc and is constantly asking for extra money. I had a huge argument with her yesterday as I feel she has no concept of money and has such an easy come easy go attitude. According to her all her friends are given money from the bank of mum and dad and she thinks I’m being ridiculous even having a go at her!!

OP’s posts: |
Aprilislonggone Tue 09-Oct-18 13:23:22

Go through her bank statements together. Help her work out cheaper alternatives to what she has been using her cash for!!
A dm's lesson in budgeting is needed!!

SpoonBlender Tue 09-Oct-18 13:28:10

Change to giving her a physical £10/week instead of bank transfer. Transfer is invisible and probably doesn't count in hear tiny little teenage mind.

Donegal11 Tue 09-Oct-18 13:36:35

We went through her online statement last night. She wastes money on crap mostly. Her school is in a large town and her and her friends tend to go round town in the afternoons after school or sports activities. They inevitably end up in McDonald’s or the like to use free WiFi and spend a few pounds here and there on a daily basis which I pointed out to her soon adds up. The final straw came yesterday when she was looking for £10 to go out for her friends birthday dinner tonight. I told her no, she should have planned to save some money as she knew about this a few weeks ago. Needless to say she is in a strop and acting like I’m a complete b**ch of a mum!

OP’s posts: |
Aprilislonggone Tue 09-Oct-18 14:19:43

Give her 5 chores to do to earn a tenner. Win win imo.

pasanda Tue 09-Oct-18 15:54:34

I have this with dd (14). She also gets £40 a month plus dinner money. Shes asked for extra for gel nails, concealer etc but over the summer I got strict and asked to see receipts and checked her account online. She spends it on crap (sweet, pop, etc) and McDonald's. So she didn't get any extra.

I think she's slowly learning I'm not going to top it up any more. So it's now up to her to budget.

Donegal11 Tue 09-Oct-18 16:17:44

Glad someone else feels my pain! Will have to have another chat this week about budgeting as I’m fed up of being treated like a cash machine 😤

OP’s posts: |


fishfingersandketchup Tue 09-Oct-18 16:35:25

My DS is going through this painful learning process too! He's 14 and gets a £45 allowance per month, we pay for his snacks at school (he also takes a packed lunch) and his phone contract, so his allowance is just to do things with friends, buy games etc. I think its a really useful exercise in budgeting, he's definitely learning how to prioritise his spending!

fishfingersandketchup Tue 09-Oct-18 16:36:28

Does she have a banking app on her phone? DS finds this really useful to keep track of his spending, he's with Nationwide.

Jackshouse Tue 09-Oct-18 16:37:30

It might be easier for her to budget with £10 a week.

HollowTalk Tue 09-Oct-18 16:38:49

A monthly budget is no good for someone that age, especially not when you're talking about a small sum. (Not that it's a small amount for you to give, but it doesn't go far.) I'd give her £10 per week in cash instead.

Sethis Tue 09-Oct-18 16:40:10

Give her 5 chores to do to earn a tenner. Win win imo.


She has her stipend. How she spends it is up to her. If she wants more money then she has to earn it, or choose to stop spending on junk. Point out that she's welcome to sell some of her crap on ebay if she needs a top up as well.

Donegal11 Tue 09-Oct-18 18:55:18

Thanks for all the useful advice I think I’m going to try the ten pounds a week idea as it might prove easier for her to budget. The cheeky madam has gone out to the dinner tonight after begging her sister for a loan 🤦‍♀️

OP’s posts: |
anniehm Thu 11-Oct-18 17:20:17

I'm refusing extra money now as dd was going to the cinema and eating out every week (she boards) trying to keep up with her richer friends (or those who worked the bursary system better than us!)

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