Am very worried about my daughter who is becoming extremely stressed about returning to school this week.
She is going back, into the sixth form, where there is no uniform policy - so wearing own clothes.
Of her group of friends 10-15, most are thin, except for her and one other. She is by no means big - but has a slightly bigger belly. I/we don't really notice, but she claims all her friends DO notice.
She is constantly breaking down, claiming that she can't decide what to wear. It takes her 20+ minutes just to decide what to wear for a trip to the shops (in case of what people think of her). She is SO stressed about having to decide what to wear to school EVERY day.
I don't really know what to do and am getting concerned about what SHE might do.
I am always calm with her, even when she is stressed/shouting/crying. I have been shopping with her, pretty much agreeing to buy anything she wants (whilst trying not to spoil her) - but she is very particular and 'wouldn't be seen' in clothes from some shops. Yet can't find anything suitable 'for her shape' and 'for her age'. Doesn't really matter what I say to apply any logic to the situation, she seems to have fixed views on these matters.
She has considered (and is still considering) going to a different school, where she knows no one (more stress) and has worse results (she is an A* student) just because it has a uniform. Am supporting her with whatever choice she makes (though suspect there will be different stresses if she goes to another school).
I just don't know where to turn next. As a typical teenager she has fixed, stead-fast views, so any attempt to explain (quite honestly) that she looks fine, and clothes look good etc... are met with argument and that 'I just don't understand'.
I have agreed to join a gym with her, though this is not going to be a quick fix (and we can only go to certain places and certain times in case she is seen).
Whilst she has never showed any signs of hurting herself, I wonder if this situation shows signs of when children DO consider hurting themselves.
At best, I suspect her (currently excellent) academic performance is going to suffer, and at worst......well, I don't want to think about it.
Whilst I DO understand body image for teenage girls, I clearly don't fully appreciate the implications of 'peer pressure' amongst her age group. I certainly don't know what else to do.
I have offered to take her to Personal Shoppers, therapists etc...
Does anyone else have any other suggestions...?
BTW, I am her dad!
Her mum is rather more hard-nosed about the situation and they typically just end up shouting at each other which makes matters worse.
Thanks
Tom
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Daughter VERY stressed about returning to school - because of clothes!
61 replies
doninwales · 02/09/2018 11:28
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