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DS18 off to uni and I'm struggling

(14 Posts)
gingina Fri 17-Aug-18 20:43:20

That's it really. He's my first born and it's just hit me that he's really going. He's got his A levels and secured his place. He's so excited and I'm trying not to show it but I'm feeling devastated.
Someone give me a slap and tell me I'm a silly cow!!!

OP’s posts: |
Sparklingbrook Fri 17-Aug-18 20:46:24

I sobbed the day DS1 left for Uni, I wanted to cry when we were doing all the shopping for Uni stuff.hmm
He went. He was ok and eventually so was I.

That was last year. All his belongings arrived back early June. The garage/house/loft is full of his stuff. He is going back in about 3 weeks. He can't wait and neither can I.

JudithPartridge Fri 17-Aug-18 20:54:02

OP - have a look on the secondary or further education board - you'll find like minded mums there- I'll be one of them in a few years time 😕

dingit Fri 17-Aug-18 20:59:50

It was a double whammy for me. I lost my df very unexpectedly, followed by dd going off to university. I spent two months in tears. As sparkingbrook says, not feeling quite so apprehensive this year, and looking forward to getting a spare room back.

gingina Fri 17-Aug-18 21:01:51

@JudithPartridge I will repost this there.
Not been on here for a while so lost my way round!!!
Thanks x

OP’s posts: |
Sparklingbrook Fri 17-Aug-18 21:05:01

Those first few weeks are hard.Not knowing whether to make contact or not. If he was getting on with stuff he wouldn't want reminding of home.

I tidied his room, stripped his bed and used it as a place to do the ironing so it didn't look like his room.

You can't imagine there being a time when you will stop thinking about them and looking at the clock, wondering what they are up to. Bit similar to when the started Reception.

But you do, and before you know it they are back for Christmas!

Singlenotsingle Fri 17-Aug-18 22:02:57

He'll boomerang back, don't worry.

TheFaerieQueene Fri 17-Aug-18 22:04:03

It’s far better than them never ever leaving Home.

StillMedusa Thu 23-Aug-18 00:20:40

It's hard, but you DO get used to it... and then they return in the holidays and mess the house up grin
I cried when DD1 left for Uni, but I still had three others at home. Then DD2 left ..she's my soul mate and it was worse, but I made sure she didn't know how much I missed her.
Then DS1 went to Australia ... 9000 miles away was even worse!

Fast forward a few years. DS1 came back, with Aussie girlfriend in tow, and DD2 moved back home after 5 years away (she's moving out after Xmas with her boyfriend) DD1 is happily settled 300 miles away.
You just adjust, and enjoy it when they appear home!

Ariela Thu 23-Aug-18 01:42:22

Terms are so short, it'll soon be the beginning of December and he'll be home

Monty27 Thu 23-Aug-18 02:17:09

It took me two weeks before I could even go in DDS bedroom. I was bereft.
In what felt like 5 minutes she was home.
All grown up.
Take heart OP. She ds will be home soon flowers

Topseyt Thu 23-Aug-18 02:29:48

This was me back in 2013 when DD1 went.

It is very hard, and I barely held it together. When we had dropped her off I cried and felt bereft for a few weeks.

As others have said though, it does get easier, and they are back before you know it for the holidays and more.

My DD3 is likely to go to uni in a couple of years, and I know I will find that hard because then I probably really will have an empty nest.

You aren't alone. Parents up and down the country are feeling just the same right now.

tobee Thu 23-Aug-18 03:41:39

When I went to school with dd to get her a level results her headteacher had to come over to me coz I looked so sad after. She worried she'd got it wrong and dd had missed her grades. I lied and pretended it was because I'd been up all night. But it was because it hit me she'd really be going off! I'd had a little scenario going in my head before her results were opened about how I'd support her though a retake year!!! She's back home again now and doesn't show any signs of leaving.

Ds (my last) has just completed his first year. But he's on summer break which lasts three months. smilesmilesmile

frazmum Thu 23-Aug-18 09:31:35

It’s really odd when they leave. You know it’s the best thing for them but it’s hard to see them go. I’ve had 2 off to uni and my advice is a little cry by yourself is fine, accept the family dynamics at home will change plus they’ll be back before you know it.
Good luck to both of you.

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