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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

DS(16) came home with a tattoo. What would you do?

34 replies

Tex111 · 13/08/2018 17:45

DS (16) and a friend of the same age got tattoos at a place in Camden yesterday. I can't work out how I feel. It's a Nike swoosh on his upper thigh and not visible (thank god). He said he got the logo as a political statement about corporate money and suffering. I don't really get that. I do feel furious that the tattooist broke the law. They didn't ask for any ID, just asked the boys if they were 18. On the one hand I'm glad DS had the sense to go to a hygienic place (as far as I can tell) and got the tattoo in a discrete place but I also feel upset about it. I just don't know what to think.

OP posts:

Report

Zoflorabore · 13/08/2018 17:49

Report them to trading standards as a start.
I would actually contact the local police for advice, this is awful.

My ds is 16 in march and I would be gutted if this happened with him. He's often asked to be searched/frisked at the football as often he is mistaken for older, being 6ft 2 and rather hairy.

Just explain to him about tattoo hygiene i.e. Keeping it clean as unfortunately the deed is done now.

NC4Now · 13/08/2018 17:51

Yep, trading standards and a chat about hygiene. Just check he hasn’t used fake ID.

Tex111 · 13/08/2018 19:44

I contacted the tattoo place and complained. They apologised and said that this should never happen, they'll investigate further, etc. I also made a formal complaint to Camden council which issues their licence. Do you think trading standards would be better?

They didn't use fake IDs or any IDs at all but they signed fake names on the consent forms.

It does look clean and DS bought the ointment to help it heal. I'm trying to look at the positive but it just doesn't sit right with me.

When it rains, it pours and I also just discovered that DS and his friends have been working their way through our booze. We don't often drink but after this worrying day I thought I would have a cocktail to wind down. Went to the cupboard and found empty bottles and half a bottle of gin that had been brand new and unopened.

I thought I could trust DS and I think it's the disappointment that hurts the most but then I remind myself that he's 16 and this is pretty typical. I WANT to be able to trust him but maybe that's just asking too much right now.

OP posts:

BiggerandBetter · 15/08/2018 20:42

Its really hard OP isn't it. They really are like children sometimes and have to be watched like children (which is veeeeerrrrrryyyyy tiring and tedious) and in other ways you have to give them freedom.

However, there is an element of dishonesty in both actions (false name and taking your booze). I would be having a chat about that for sure, so he can understand that dishonesty has consequences. Apart from the moral aspect, it rarely ends well (as he will no doubt be finding).

BigBlueBubble · 15/08/2018 20:44

Definitely report to police and Trading Standards. If my DS did that I’m afraid I’d force him to have the tattoo removed.

BiggerandBetter · 15/08/2018 20:49

P.S. I thought Tattoo Parlours had very strict rules about legal ages. So, I think you will have a strong case. I'd even look into the legal possibility of sueing them myself.

StickyCar · 15/08/2018 20:50

I did similar at 14 (tasteful Chinese symbol ) and my dad went berserk. He marched me to the tattooist and demanded that I apologise to the tattooist for lying then demanded the tattooist apologise to him for scarring his daughter. I still cringe remembering it now. I also had no Christmas presents as my present was to have it layered off (which hurt 10x more than the actual tattoo).

Twenty years on and I’ve never been tempted to get another one. A Nike swish sounds even more embarrassing than my Chinese symbol.

Bellabutterfly2016 · 15/08/2018 21:03

It could be worse, it could have "just do it" written underneath!!

I had a belly button piercing done at 16 which I hid from my mum until it got infected and I passed out - she went mental too and frog marched me to the tattoo place that did it!!

Drinking - normal teenage behaviour just have a chat with him about and set some ground rules. My parents used to let us have a glass of wine with dinner at 16/17.

Branleuse · 15/08/2018 21:05

I wouldnt do anything. Its his body

Jaxtellerswife · 15/08/2018 21:06

Yeah, I don't think any tattoo removal place will remove a tattoo forcibly lol.
It's done now, I'd focus on the alcohol

Ginorchoc · 15/08/2018 21:33

You’ve reported it to the correct people. Not sure why people are suggesting report to the Police?

Racecardriver · 15/08/2018 21:37

Get him checked for hepititis/hiv at the appropriate juncture and get an apology in writing from them-this is crucial when your DS realises that the tattoo makes him look like a bit of a twat and wants to get it removed. Limitation periods for most court actions are 6 years BTW.

MazDazzle · 15/08/2018 21:39

How did you find out about the tattoo?

I got a small one when I was fifteen, but I’d be very disappointed if my DC did the same.

Have you spoken to him about the drink?

Ummmmgogo · 15/08/2018 21:43

i feel a bit sorry for the tattooist, he thought they were 18, what if he loses his job? your ds sounds like hes trying to rebel but is fundamentally a well behaved and well brought up boy, so i would give him a lecture on stealing my stuff, some facts about what alcohol does to a growing body, a lecture about tattoo hygiene, a lecture about the pain and cost of tattoo removal, then secretly laugh about it when he has gone out. everyone steal alcohol from their parents and the majority of people have tatoos they regret ime. xx

Branleuse · 15/08/2018 21:45

What i would definitely do is laugh at him and tell him his nike logo is shit

CherryCherryCherry · 15/08/2018 21:48

Well at least he told you about it as you may not have discovered it for years. Hopefully he won't have anymore as I understand they can be quite addictive. If you've shown your disappointment and complained to the tattoo place I can't see what else you can do. He's rebelled in his eyes and will have to live with it. Maybe when he's older he will pay for laser removal which will be costly and painful. At least it's not visible OP so thats surely a relief? But don't tell him that.....

CherryCherryCherry · 15/08/2018 21:50

I spose the tattoo place should have asked for ID?

Alwayscommuting · 15/08/2018 21:52

I would be furious and I have quite a few tattoos. I would report the studio and the artist as they broke the law. I'm 25 and have been asked for ID every time. Ask him if he saw the needles being opened. If not have him checked for blood borne diseases.

adoggymama · 15/08/2018 22:00

@BiggerandBetter why should the tattoo parlour be immediately blamed?! They could have brought fake ids or stolen someone's whose older and used that name.

Surely the boys are to blame- they're 16, old enough to know right from wrong and they knew what they were doing was illegal otherwise they would have used their names! Don't sue a business because of a stupid (and illegal) decision the son made.

Jaxtellerswife · 15/08/2018 22:04

@Branleuse yes, that too

EvaHarknessRose · 15/08/2018 22:10

Interesting he told you straight away. Normal teenage rebellion, impulsiveness and limit testing I guess.

BiggerandBetter · 15/08/2018 22:34

adoggy, I didn't say they should be 'immediately blamed' exactly, so not sure why you are so arsey, if you simply "disagree" you can say that without being a twat about it. What I did say is that ID issues are treated seriously at tatoo parlours for obvious reasons and, in fact, for your information, The Tattooing of Minors Act 1969 makes it illegal for anyone to tattoo you if you are under the age of 18 - although the offence is with the person who carries out the procedure, rather than the person who asks for the tattoo. So, actually, legally, the Tattoo Parlour is "to blame" in fact. So I don't know where you get your 'attitude' from.

BiggerandBetter · 15/08/2018 22:38

And, for your information, the parlours are subject to fines if they break this law!

Also, if you actually bothered to read the OPs post in the first place, you would see that the Tatoo Parlour did not ask for IDs, he just asked them how old they were.

Sometimes the rude and ignorant posters on MN (and they are nearly always one and the same IYKWIM) make me want to tear my hair out!

namechange2pointoh · 15/08/2018 22:39

why should the tattoo parlour be immediately blamed?! They could have brought fake ids or stolen someone's whose older and used that name.

The OP has clarified the parkour did not ask for ID, and were not provided with any, fake or otherwise.

Of course it is the fault of the tattoo parlour

Funnybunnydog · 15/08/2018 22:45

How far down his thigh is it? If its visible when he wears shorts then he is going to feel pretty stupid soon as the Nike tick is not a good look as a tattoo on anyone. Just wait until he starts asking for money for a cover up!

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