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I found a sex toy under 17yo bed!

(133 Posts)
bumble17 Wed 08-Aug-18 16:52:10

I'm in complete shock, I just can not believe it. It went to flip over DDs mattress while stripping her bed as there was a huge coffee stain on the mattress, i scrubbed at it and decided to just flip the mattress as DD was moaning it stank of coffee.

When I lifted the mattress I found a sex toy! She is 17 years old so I know she is past the age of consent, but I didn't think you could buy anything like this until you were 18 years old! I don't know if to be mad or question how's she's bought it, I also don't want to humiliate her. I'm just so shocked and don't know how to go about it. Do I just leave it and forget or do I confront her? She does have a boyfriend as well. I haven't told DH as I'm scared of how he would react. The thought of it does make me feel quite sick. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? hmm

DextroDependant Wed 08-Aug-18 16:53:53

I think you are massively over reacting and should forget you ever saw it. Certaonlydont mention it!

JazzyJelly Wed 08-Aug-18 16:53:59

I bought my first toy at her age. Good for her knowing how to please herself. I wouldn't mention it, I'm sure that conversation would do no good.

YeTalkShiteHen Wed 08-Aug-18 16:54:37

Leave it where you found it, don’t go under her mattress again and for God’s sake don’t mention it to her or her Dad!

She’s 17, she’s perfectly able to have a sex life (solo or otherwise) and has the right not to be humiliated by her mother discussing it, or even worse with her Dad!

IMissGin Wed 08-Aug-18 16:54:52

Totally normal, stop overreacting

RedPandaMama Wed 08-Aug-18 16:55:08

I think you're being a bit prudish to be honest! Not a big deal and just forget about it!

Nquartz Wed 08-Aug-18 16:55:13

Don't say anything, it's not really your business.
You can buy anything online now, not like in my day when I had to go to Ann summers blush

Whatnextfred Wed 08-Aug-18 16:56:09

Makes you feel sick? Think this says more about you than your perfectly normal daughter

YeTalkShiteHen Wed 08-Aug-18 16:56:20

Nquartz I waddled into Ann Summers 8 months gone to buy a vibrator for my friend (don’t ask, she was too embarrassed) and they asked if I was trying to bring on labour grin

MinorRSole Wed 08-Aug-18 16:56:27

She's 17, leave her be and don't embarrass the poor girl. Owning a sex toy isn't something she should be ashamed of so don't make her feel like it is.

rebelrosie12 Wed 08-Aug-18 16:56:30

None of your business and good for her!

Frosty6611 Wed 08-Aug-18 16:56:56

Maybe friends bought it for her for a bday present? Or if she buys things online then she could have purchased it that way. Surely places like Ann Summers wouldn’t be id’ing 17 year olds who walk in wanting to buy a vibrator though.
I think you are over reacting, it’s hardly a big deal to be masturbating at that age

SkaterGrrrrl Wed 08-Aug-18 16:56:59

Good for her.

Don't tell your DH. It's none of his business. Or yours.

thirtyplusone Wed 08-Aug-18 16:57:03

Leave her alone, she’s entitled to her privacy. She can legally move out, have sex, drive a car...

‘Complete shock’ is a major overreaction.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Wed 08-Aug-18 16:57:12

Just pretend you didnt see it. It's none of your business.

eggncress Wed 08-Aug-18 16:57:20

Not experienced yet but I would pretend you haven’t seen it.
I would think it’s quite normal. She’s not bothering anyone and you should respect her privacy. Why would you want to tell her dad ? How humiliating and embarrassing that would be for her!
I don’t think I would be that surprised if I found a sex toy in my dd room( she’s 17).

NanFlanders Wed 08-Aug-18 16:57:20

Put it out of your mind! Certainly don't tell her dad. What possible reason do you have to 'confront' her. I don't know the law, but if a woman can consent to sexual intercourse, with attendant risks of pregnancy and disease at 16, I'd be astonished if she needed to wait two more years to buy a harmless piece of plastic.

jasminemaya Wed 08-Aug-18 16:58:13

Erase this from your mind and never speak of it.

chicken75 Wed 08-Aug-18 16:58:27

Massive overreaction sorry Op.
Imo as long as daughter is being careful and respectful if being sexually active in your property, there is no issue.

upsideup Wed 08-Aug-18 16:59:05

It really doesnt matter.
I was aware my eldest had brought a vibrator when she was 16 because she'd told me, what should I have been worried or annoyed about?

ApolloandDaphne Wed 08-Aug-18 16:59:23

What an overreaction. Surely the right response is to smile to yourself, replace it and pretend you never saw it.

LeroyJenkins Wed 08-Aug-18 16:59:40

Ohh ffs, she's 17 years old, not a child

Why would you you be scared to tell dh?

I haven't told DH as I'm scared of how he would react

cheesefield Wed 08-Aug-18 17:01:04

Jesus Christ, leave the poor girl alone!

Of course you don't mention it, to her or your DH! It's none of yours or anyone else's business.

UnderTheSleepingBaby Wed 08-Aug-18 17:01:24

When I was 17 I accidentally came across a sex toy in my parent's bedroom, I assure you that was far worse ;)

haribosmarties Wed 08-Aug-18 17:01:28

Confront her about what?
What is your concern?

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