My Child used an E-Cigarette!

[ZeAs]

Ok so where do I start?
I was checking my 14 year old son's phone, of course while I was with him, and I came across a video on snapchat. He was of him using my husband's E-Cigarette which was ultimately in the house. The fact that my husband smokes has and will always make me uncomfortable but I know I cannot change him as he is an addict. I have, over the past few years, tried to help him but most results have ended in the bin. So coming across my son doing the exact same thing leaves a mum speechless.
After thinking about this day and night, I figured he must be doing this to impress his friends as my knowledge of this generation is that many of them like doing Shisha Pens and think it is cool. This has left me utterly devastated How many times has he even done this?!
I did not know what to do apart from first of all confiscating his phone. What else shall I do?

[FuckMyUterus]

Hi, I couldn't just read this and run, however I am a vaper myself so please take my opinion as slightly biased.
You first need to sit him down and have a frank conversation about the fact that he's underage for a start. Secondly, inform him that although e cigarettes have been proven to be up to 95% safer than smoking traditional cigarettes, there is still risk associated with them. Ask him why he felt the need to use it, was it a curiosity thing, to 'try' it, or has he been smoking and wishes to quit?
Just my personal opinion, but there are a lot worse things he could be doing at 14, so although this is bad, try and keep a little perspective. Hope you sort it!

[Marie0]

Aw that’s tough 😐, I found my DS who’s 13 also recording himself vaping cos of course he thinks it’s so cool. I also found a vaping pipe /kit hidden in his room.

I confiscated the vaping paraphernalia and told him it was totally unacceptable- but then he turned around and said there’s nothing wrong with it and it’s perfectly safe 😲

My DH also has an e cig but he hasn’t tried that - is that the same as vaping?

I think a lot of teens will try these things whether it’s smoking, vaping or drinking- we just need to be firm - tell them it totally unacceptable and deliver some kind of consequence, so yes maybe taking your sons phone off him would be a good start

Good luck 😉 try not to stress it too much, sounds like he’s a typical teenager

[Marie0]

I agree there a lot worse things he could be doing - experimentation is a normal part of growing up

[hotdogburger]

Why on earth would you go through your 14 year olds phone

You're just asking for him to hide things from you surely? Many 14 year olds would have already tried a regular cigarette by now to be honest

I just can't believe you'd invade his privacy like that. My best friends mum used to go through her phone, so she'd just make sure to have deleted any messages or pictures that could her her in trouble. that was also the same friend who was too scared to tell her mum she was pregnant so went for an abortion on her own because she was terrified of her reaction. maybe think twice before going through his phone- it makes kids/teenagers far less likely to tell you when they have issues because you have no trust or respect for them.

[Marie0]

I’d love to go through my sons phone but he keeps changing his pass code and guess he is entitled to privacy but it’s difficult to get the balance between respecting your teens privacy and being so concerned you want to know exactly what they’re up to and with whom 😐

[Squeegle]

I don’t think an e-cigarette is too bad to be honest. Good advice re just talking it through. The best way to keep him doing it is to go mad at him .

[ZeAs]

I talked to him about it and to be honest he seemed quite embarrassed and he said he only did it once so I'm alright with that I guess.. It's better than being addicted.
and also, I do feel like it's my responsibility to check my son's phone to see an update as I would not want to be the mum's that praise their son because they think he is working but he is actually getting drunk and often clubbing.


So that's why I feel like it's necessary for me