DS staying over at girlfriends house - how old were they?

[someoneseatenmyapple]

DS has asked if he can stay at his girlfriends house. He is just 15. It's a fairly new relationship. I've never met her parents although I know who they are because they are local. I'm not sure. Just would welcome opinions.

[DramaAlpaca]

At 15 that would be a no from me.

[IWannaSeeHowItEnds]

I said no until mine were 16. If he is only just 15, that's still very young for that level of involvement.

[someoneseatenmyapple]

Thanks @IWannaSeeHowItEnds I do completely agree with you, however there is a small part of me that thinks you can get up to anything, anywhere. Not even 100% sure what the sleeping arrangements would be. He may not even be allowed to sleep in her room. She is a school year older than him.

[Aprilshowersinaugust]

I have 5 ds's over 16 and they all know the rules. Nobody stays in and nobody stays out (applying to gf's) until 16!!

[LoveBeingAMum555]

We live in the middle of nowhere as do a lot of their friends so that affected our decision a bit. It's easier to allow sleepovers than drive across the moors or down farm tracks late at night. DS was 16 and his GF was 15 when they first stayed at each others houses but in separate rooms.

It's a minefield. My advice would be to set the rules, do what you feel comfortable with and stick to it. I ended up having a conversation with the Mum of DSs GF just by chance about them sleeping together once they were 16 which really helped.

[topcat2014]

Well, I was 26, but don't recommend that as a course through life :)

[C0untDucku1a]

I was 16 when i started sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. In separate rooms.

[AJPTaylor]

No till he is 16
Of course they can do what they like anyway intimacy wise during daylight hours but i didnt want to condone it underage.

[2gorgeousboys]

DS1s girlfriend stayed over this week. He's 18 and although it's a fairly new relationship we've met her a few times and logistics meant it made sense for her to stay. I wasn't sure about them sharing a room but decided to trust them.

[nokidshere]

I was torn and said no immediately when my 16yr old asked to stay at his girlfriends a couple of weekends ago. Had either of them been under 16 I definitely would have stuck to that.

However, since they are both soon to be 17, spend lots of daylight hours alone together, and her parents agreed I had to recognise that it was my own feelings of "my baby" and not a reasoned decision.

So we had a long chat about sex & relationships, condoms, consent, safety, respect, etc etc (probably for the last time) he stayed over and has done again since then.

It's very hard getting your head round your child growing up and having a sex life. (Although to be fair he did say they weren't planning to have sex and I'm not going to ask him if they did lol)

[HollowTalk]

No way. I told them that when they went to university (both of my kids intended to go at 18) then when they came home they could bring someone home with them. There was no way I was having kids at school staying overnight.

It was easier with my son as he and I both knew that his girlfriend's father would've gone absolutely crazy if his daughter had got pregnant. With my daughter, she was flitting around from boyfriend to boyfriend, which is fine, but I didn't want them staying over.

Both could have their friends in their rooms in the daytime/evening - I just didn't want to get involved in them staying overnight.

[nervyuyt]

I wasn't sure about them sharing a room but decided to trust them.

I don't get this. He is 18, what were you trusting him to do/not do?