DS went to Uni last August and stayed residential. Dropped out in May but had been offered FT job in field he was studying so I was ok with that as I knew he wasn't happy at Uni.
Whist there his GF (18) parents kicked her out (for staying night at his) so I think she mainly stayed at his in Uni accommodation. Since he moved back to home town she has been house sharing but this has all fallen through.
Both work full time (she is on apprenticeship wage and gets top up from UC). I think he is really wanting to private rent with her now and I am not sure how I feel about it?
On one hand, I feel like he is pressured from her because she literally is on her own in world (her mom still won't speak to her and her family is moving abroad in next few weeks) and he feels like its his fault she got kicked out and now feels that he can't leave her. He had told me that he really wanted to save and be able to buy something in a few years but he knows she wants him to be with her now.
I really wanted him to be able to enjoy having a decent wage picks up between £1300 - £1600) depending on his hours (works between 40-60 hours per week) and going on hols, spending on fun stuff and still save. Once he is living the GF this is not likely to happen but I know he helps her financially anyway.
On other, he never stays at ours really anyway, is till paying rent but isn't really eating at our either. We have still been taking rent (saving it for him but he doesn't know) as I wanted him to get used to having to stick to paying bills, so I get he would use this to his part of rent and I wouldn't feel like I was ripping my own DS off.
DH thinks I am being stupid. He said that if he completed Uni he wouldn't have been home anyway and that 19 and in FT work is old enough to live on his own and thinks I should let him - even encourage!
I worry 19 is too young and too much pressure BUT I lived at home rent free until 21 then bought my own house. DH left home at 16/17 and has never looked back. I did have friends who had children and 17 and 18 and were given council places but I have seen them struggle and DH struggled in past. DH has said he can always move back if it all goes tits up so can't see problem.
I don't think I am ready for him to move out (pathetic I know ).
What age did you move out and am I just struggling to cut the apron strings?
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What age did you move out?
40 replies
ChillUrBeans · 31/07/2018 12:44
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