Hibernating in room

[TypicallyNorthern]

My (nearly) 13 year old is spending most of the day in his room. I think he is quite a mature nearly 13 year old physically and his voice seems to have dropped a lot so I am assuming his can now be called a teenager.

When he comes out of his room to see us or get food he has his phone in his hand and his headphones on. Is this normal? We went on holiday last week and whilst he had a good time he did go off at night to his room to watch videos on his phone.

I am not concerned about what he is watching. My DH has his phone locked down and he checks his phone all the time. He is just watching TV shows (Thin Blue Line, Blackadder, Monty Python) and checking out plane crashes on youtube. He joins in on his schoolfriend WhatsApp but mainly with one word answers.

He doesn't seem to want to set up any playdates with his friends and he is not meeting them online because he doesn't have a gaming console. He seems happy enough, he has hobbies that are solo type things and plays with his younger brother.

Should I be worried about him? I am worried he is not getting enough peer interaction.

[argumentativefeminist]

Some people just recharge their mental batteries by being alone, I know I do! He'll have been seeing his friends at school everyday (I'm presuming he's on holidays now!) so maybe he's just not missing the social contact yet if you see what I mean. (Caveat: I dont have any kids but do have a younger brother who was exactly the same at this age and still is!)

[Blessthekids]

I would say as long as he's happy then I would not worry. My two are similar, they hang out together and do hobbies, and don't seem that interested in seeing school friends. I would love them to spend more time going out with friends but this just isn't them. I think I need to accept this myself and stop trying to make them into the kind of child I think they should be. It doesn't work and just makes us all less happy.

[PickAChew]

Don't ever use the word "playdate" to his face. Poor lad would be mortified 😅

[JustDanceAddict]

lol Re ‘playdate’, they are def not this at secondary!!
Yes I would say normal, but doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Ds - 14 is online a lot but has been out a reasonable amount since they broke up as he does like to see friends irl too. Do all his friends game and he doesn’t? Is he happy with his life? Can you take your DCs out in the hols a bit too??
We would all love our DCs to have active social
Lives but it’s not that easy unless you’re a real
Popular type or have been lucky to find your ‘tribe’.

[TypicallyNorthern]

OK, won't use "playdate"