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DS 17 and a lack of confidence - how to help?

(4 Posts)
LoveBeingAMum555 Sat 21-Jul-18 21:51:00

Up until leaving secondary school DS had loads of friends and was really outgoing but since moving to a new college to do his A Levels he has struggled to fit in and make friends. He is polite and helpful at home and we have no issues with his behaviour but he just seems to want to shut himself away in his room all the time. At college he spends a lot of time on his own which he insists doesnt bother him.

More worryingly he has recently made a couple of friends who are not really the sort of kids you would want your son to be hanging around with, one has been in trouble with the police for something fairly minor and the other was suspended from school for a time.

We have encouraged him to do summer football coaching which he enjoys but he is so sensitive to comments from the others and doesnt mix with the other kids any more than necessary.

He should do well with his A levels as he is bright but doesnt believe in himself. He also doesnt want to get a summer job or learn to drive because of his lack of confidence. I sometimes feel that he just doesnt want to become an adult and is hiding away from the world. However, he insists he is fine.

Can we do anything to help, given that he will just tell us he is quite happy as he is?

OP’s posts: |
Northernparent68 Sun 22-Jul-18 08:07:12

I would strongly encourage him to play sport and exercise as that will build his confidence. I’d sit him down and tell him why you re concerned

LoveBeingAMum555 Sun 22-Jul-18 16:28:04

Thank you. I just dont think he wants to admit how he feels and it is hard to know how far to push it. His older brother is sporty and very outgoing so I am going to ask him if he would help DS get involved in some outdoor activities over the summer (they get on really well).

I am also to do some research on summer jobs. He tried a kitchen porter job in a hotel and hated it so it needs to be something he knows that he might actually enjoy.

OP’s posts: |
Northernparent68 Wed 25-Jul-18 20:56:50

He might open up to his brother more than he will to you, can you tell your eldest your concerns and ask him to help ?

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