Page 2 | 14yr old DD getting into trouble at school

(27 Posts)
D623 Sat 07-Jul-18 20:02:02

This is my first post as I’ve only just joined tonight following a tough week with my 14 yr old DD. Over the past 10 months she’s got into quite a bit of low level trouble in school (sent to isolation, phone calls home etc, no exclusions so far thank goodness!) mainly due to her chatting in class, not focusing, answering back etc. She asked to see a counsellor last October so I went to school, who sent me to GP, who said CAHMS wouldn’t see her as she’s not harming herself. Went back to school who said that I would have to apply for counselling but might not hear back so decided to go private. She’s been seeing counsellor fortnightly since then for anxiety/low self esteem and was doing well at the sessions. School have been pretty useless, tried to get appt with SENDCO and still waiting for that 5 weeks on.

This week has been the worst though, Tuesday got a phone call as she was refusing to work in isolation (punishment for an altercation with a boy on Friday) so they were threatening a fixed term exclusion. This got too much for me and I broke down at home in floods of tears and had a big conversation with her about how this was affecting me, worrying all the time about getting calls from school. She was good as gold Weds and Thurs but Friday had an argument with some friends and kicked a glass door panel through at school, which I’ve now got a hefty bill for. Her friends told on her and then she was put in isolation again. She refused to work again and wrote on the cubicle wall so got down to her last warning again.

I’m struggling to know what is causing her to lash out so much at school. We don’t see the anger issues at home (mine or her Dad’s). She’s such a loving girl and it’s heartbreaking to know she’s so angry and can’t control herself at school. We’ve asked her so many times if she’s being bullied or anything and she says not. I took her to the docs a few months ago and they did a blood test which showed a vit D deficiency which she’s got meds for now. I’m so worried that she’s depressed or got anger issues, I just don’t know what to do. She was supposed to finish with her counsellor this week but I’ve asked them to continue weekly to see if she can get to the bottom of it. Just don’t know what else to do, feel so hopeless about it all.

OP’s posts: |
D623 Sat 14-Jul-18 11:43:50

We’ve had a much better week, she’s not been in trouble (not so much as a warning) at school this week which is very rare. She’s also been much better at home, we’ve talked a lot and spent more time together and think it’s working. I’m sure we’ll have some bad days ahead but this seems to be the way forward for now. 3 more days at school, can’t wait for it to be finished!!

OP’s posts: |
youarenotkiddingme Mon 16-Jul-18 18:29:18

Glad to hear things have settled.
I'd contact school and ask them how they are encouraging this to continue by recognising the effort.

Positive reinforcement shouldn't be underestimated

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