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Crying Teenage DS - help please(7 Posts)
I have just found my wonderful 15yo DS crying in his room. Howls, tears & snot. He won't talk about it, won't discuss the reason & says he is "fine". He does at least accept hugs from me.
This has been happening every few days for months, but seems to be becoming more frequent & more heartfelt.
I don't want to invade his privacy - he is entitled to his own life, despite his youth - but I desperately want to help him to resolve whatever is upsetting him.
He is intelligent, witty, lovely in so many ways, popular & great company. His only "fault" is being a few kilos overweight; I'm sure he stress eats & hides packets etc.
I suspect low self esteem, it isn't uncommon in this cruel world (& both XH & I had it in spades).
In so many other ways we are very close.
How can I help him?
Sounds as though you have a great relationship with him. I think you just have to keep being available so he can open up to you if he feels ready. Very sorry for you both, sounds so difficult.
I think you can only reassuring him you're there to listen whenever he feels ready to talk or encourage him to maybe speak to someone else he trusts. Your poor son! I hope you get to the bottom of this
Rosey that must be heartbreaking for you, I do hope ds is ok. Can you see his social media accounts for any clues? It could be his weight, it could be a girl he maybe likes, it could be anything. Could you try another approach like taking him out to do something he likes? Could he start walking your dog for fitness or join slimming world online so he can gain fitness and confidence in his own way? If this continues it might be worth calling MIND to ask what help is available to you first so that you can explain what's been going on and get advice for dealing with this and then to point him in the right direction if he does need a bit of extra support
Its really hard to see your kids like that. When my ed went through a bad patch, I bought a notebook for her to write things down to me, if she wanted to tell me something but couldn't face to face. Might he be up for something like that?
For now, just keep letting him know you are always there if he feels like a chat. Or just for a hug. Whatever he needs
Keep telling him you love him. That you will do anything to help.
Speak to his teacher and ask how things are going at school. But don't share any information that could make things worse for him.
If you can get him to the gp do it.
Search his room for anything he could harm himself with.
Chances are it is bullying.
I am so sorry
You must be so worried.
Thank you all for replying and for your wise & positive words.
We spent some more time last night just gently hugging & chatting, I reassured him in general & told him how loved he is. Also that we can resolve anything together, maybe in little pieces with small changes here & there, gradually, if that is what suits him - I think he liked that idea.
Today was much better; he was calmer & I think benefited from a good night's sleep!